Thought Catalog

Life Goes On Without You

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I woke up today and my sheets were still covered in tears from the night before. My eyes were red and swollen. My legs were tired and my head was spinning, but I woke up.

Because life goes on without you.

I went to get my morning coffee and the barista couldn’t tell that I broke down last night, she still smiled at me and told me to have a good day, she always does. Sometimes I wonder what the barista is really going through as she wishes everyone a good day even if she is having a terrible one herself. But I smiled back and told her to have a great one, because I really hope she does and I will also try to have a good one.

Because life goes on without you.

I went to work and mingled with all my coworkers as I usually do. They couldn’t tell that I was broken, they couldn’t tell that I was falling apart. I still found the words to fill the empty pages. I still found the will to write. I still found a glimmer of hope for a brighter future again. Yesterday I was dying, but today I’m alive.

Because life goes on without you.

I went out with my friends, we talked about boys, love, fashion and our next vacation. I laughed at their jokes and they laughed at mine. I smiled for the camera when they were taking a picture of us. I danced with them when our favorite song came on. I didn’t let the pain of your absence stop me from living my life. I’m going to make new memories in every corner that reminds me of you.

Because life goes on without you.

I came home feeling the loneliness permeate every cell of my body. I tried to sleep but my thoughts kept haunting me. I tried to stretch my body, fighting the heaviness of my heart. The pain is too heavy to carry this time. The pain is harder to handle this time. The pain may not go away this time. But I’ll still sleep. I’ll still dream. I’ll still pray for guidance. I’ll pray for happiness. I’ll pray for love. I’ll ask God for a better life and a better future. Because life doesn’t stop here. It doesn’t end because you left. It doesn’t end with all of the scars you carved. It doesn’t end with your wounds. Time will heal me. The world will heal me. The scars will eventually fade.

Because life goes on without you. TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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