Stop Telling Your Friend That Her Standards Are Too High

Stop telling your friend that she needs to settle or lower her standards so she could find someone.

Stop telling your friend to allow inexcusable excuses.

Stop telling your friend that it’s okay if she’s not a priority or if someone is not treating her right because he just doesn’t know her well enough.

Because these standards stem from her values and her values shouldn’t change for anyone.

Her standards are a reflection of what she truly believes in, who she really is and what she thinks she deserves and even if you think they’re unreasonable or ridiculous or they’re going to keep her single forever, there will be someone who is willing to meet her standards. There will be someone who doesn’t think they’re too high because his standards are just as high.

The problem with modern dating is that it has made so many women okay with behavior they secretly despise — and because it’s easier to join the crowd then turn the other way, women have lowered their standards and started being okay with things they previously considered ‘red flags.’ But there are still a few of us who hold these high standards, who cherish these standards and won’t let any dating culture change that.

So stop telling your friend that it’s okay if he’s taking days to respond to her when he’s active on Instagram.

Stop telling your friend it’s okay if he’s not thinking about her because he’s busy with ‘other things.’

Stop telling your friend that it’s okay that he hasn’t asked her out yet because he’s probably dating other people and will reach out when he’s ready.

Stop telling your friend to blow up his snapchat because it’s more ‘fun’ than texting and having an actual conversation.

Stop telling your friend that her standards are what’s keeping her from finding someone because she’d rather stay single than meet someone who can’t give her half of what she’s asking for.

People with high standards are the ones who are always ‘waiting’ while everyone else moves from one boyfriend to another, but that’s exactly why they wait, they can’t stand short-term flings or casual relationships, they can’t stand connections that are temporary, they can’t stand giving their hearts to someone who is more likely to break it.

Stop telling your friend that waiting is not going to get her anywhere or that she’ll always be waiting.

She’s waiting for someone who truly cares, someone who shows it, someone who says it, someone who understands her standards and tries to meet them and she’s waiting for someone who values what she values and appreciates who she really is.

She’s looking for something long-term, something real and she’s looking for someone who’s worth the wait.

So stop telling her to change. Stop telling her that she needs to be more chill or flexible. Stop telling her to become someone she’s not to impress a man who’s never going to love her the way she wants to be loved anyway.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.