I miss how easy it was with you.
I miss how texting was fun,
talking on the phone was normal
and hanging out wasn’t an occasion.
I miss how effortless it was with you —
the conversations just flowed.
I wasn’t afraid of saying too much.
I knew you wouldn’t run away.
I miss how things made sense with you;
how you meant what you said
how you kept your promises and
how you always made time for us.
You ruined dating for me
because now I don’t get it,
now texting is a nightmare
and hanging out is a chore.
Now I can’t deeply connect with anyone
and I’m even more guarded.
Now the simplest thing I say
is enough for someone to walk away.
Now no one means what they say,
they don’t say anything at all,
they don’t do much either
and I can’t help but remember you.
People tell me my standards are too high
and it’s because of you.
I never felt like I was settling with you.
I never felt like it was less than what I deserved.
But now I keep lying to myself
thinking that dating has changed,
not everyone is the same,
maybe I’m intimidating, maybe it’s me.
But you were never intimidated by me
and even if you were
it never stopped you.
I never questioned myself with you.
I miss how easy it was with you,
all of it; communication,
laughter, love, consistency.
You gave me so much.
Now I keep looking for someone like you
among cowards and empty souls,
between lame excuses and mind games.
I keep trying to make something out of nothing.
I keep trying to forget you
with people who only remind me
of how easy it was with you
and I can’t help but miss you all over again.