The Environment That Broke You Cannot Be The Environment That Puts You Back Together

You can’t heal around the same people who broke you, the people who caused you pain because every single day will be a different reminder of the past, the bruises, and the wounds.

You can’t start loving yourself around the same people who made you doubt your self-worth, question your abilities and had a hard time loving you for who you are.

You can’t rebuild yourself around those who destroyed you. You can’t use their bricks as a foundation because it won’t hold you together. It never did.

You can’t smile from the heart around those who made you cry your eyes out. You can’t be happy around those who made you miserable.

You can’t speak up around those who constantly silenced you. You can’t love your voice when you’re surrounded by the same people who told you that you don’t have one.

You can’t fall in love with anyone when you’re surrounded by people who constantly point out your flaws and the flaws of anyone you like. You can’t give someone a fair chance when you’re around those who shut out anyone they don’t approve of.

You can’t be safe when you’re constantly living in fear. Fear of trying, fear of speaking up, fear of making what makes you happy and fear of falling in love. You can’t live among those who punish you whenever you don’t follow their rules.

You can’t find yourself among those who made you feel lost, abandoned and misunderstood. You can’t revive your soul when you’re surrounded by those who wrecked it.

Your environment is more important than you think. Your environment determines what kind of life you’re going to live, what kind of people you’ll attract and what kind of expectations and standards you’ll set for yourself and others.

And sometimes we think that we can’t change our environment or it’s too late to find a new one, but it’s never too late. It’s never too late to realize that you don’t deserve to live with people who bring you more misery than joy. It’s never too late to understand that you don’t have to be punished every time you disagree with them. It’s never too late to walk away from any environment that doesn’t nourish your mind, body, heart and soul.

It’s never too late to heal. You can always heal, just not around those who broke you because all they know is how to break things and it’s not out of pure evil or ill intention, it’s just their psychology, it’s how they were raised, it’s what they’ve been taught. But you’re learning a different lesson and it’s time to find like-minded students who are going to help you succeed and live a better life.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.