10 Signs You’re Dating A Real Man (Not Another Boy)

Twenty20 / @criene

1. He’s consistent. He calls regularly, he responds to your texts on time, he meets up when says he will and he shows up when you expect him to. He doesn’t disappear or wait for you to initiate plans. He makes communication simple and easy — like it should be.

2. He’s honest. He doesn’t try to deceive you or hide the truth from you. He answers your questions even if they’re difficult or deep and he makes things clear to you instead of running away from confrontation or sending you mixed signals.

3. He stands by you. When you’re having problems or when you need someone to count on, he’s there to help you get through things in whichever way he can. He makes it a point to be involved in the good and bad things in your life. He doesn’t make you feel like your problems are ‘drama’ or tries to avoid you when you’re down.

4. He’s genuinely interested in your story. He wants to know your past, your struggles, your childhood and how you became the person you are today. He doesn’t just ask shallow questions, he asks real, deep and meaningful questions because he’s invested.

5. He doesn’t give up on you. He doesn’t look at why things won’t work out or find excuses. He doesn’t focus on the differences or the roadblocks. He gives it a real shot even if it might not work out. Even if he’s not fully ready, he gives you a chance because he thinks you’re worth it.

6. He doesn’t confuse you. You’re not running around in circles because of his actions. You’re not questioning his feelings for you and asking all your friends if they think he likes you. You know for sure he’s not talking to anyone else. He’s assertive when it comes to you.

7. He’s not hung up on an ex or another girl. A real man is loyal. If he decides to date you, he’s dating you because he likes you, not because he’s trying to get over an ex or trying to forget another girl. He doesn’t lead you on only to tell you that he’s still not over his ex. He’s real with you.

8. He makes an effort with your inner circle. Your friends, your close coworkers or your family. He wants to meet them and be present at their events and occasions with you. He doesn’t want to be known as that guy you’re seeing that no one else has ever seen.

9. When he talks about the future, he mentions you. A real man wants you to share his life with the girl he’s dating because he’s committed, so he’ll proactively make you part of his future plans because he doesn’t just see you as a temporary girl. He tries to show you that he sees a future with you.

10. He makes you feel safe. The biggest sign that you’re with a real man, is how secure you feel with him. You feel safe. You know you can count on him. You know he won’t let you down. You know he won’t abandon you or take his anger out on you or humiliate you in public. He respects you and when you’re with him, you feel valued and appreciated. You can trust him with yourself and your life. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.


Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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