When My Friends Ask Me Why I Still Care

Flash Bros

I still care because I can’t forget our memories. I can’t forget the times you made me smile and the times that you kept me alive when I almost gave up on my life.

I still care because every time I see your picture, I can’t help but remember your soul, the one that would emerge after 2 am — the real, raw, unfiltered and beautiful soul.

I still care because you gave me something they couldn’t give me. You made me forget about my worries, my fears and my pain. Talking to you was the therapy I needed. Talking to you healed me.

I still care because this is who I am, I don’t know how to stop caring, I don’t know how to unlove someone, I don’t know how to unfeel. I don’t know how to pretend to be someone who doesn’t give a fuck.

I still care because I believe that we’re meant to always care about certain people whether they care about us or not. I believe that we’ll always have a bigger heart than some people, we’ll always remember, we’ll always forgive, we’ll always cut them some slack and make exceptions for them. That’s just who we are. It’s human nature.

I still care because I’ve lived long enough to safely say I’ve met all kinds of people, I’ve gotten to know all kinds of people and I’m certain that you’re still incomparable. Time only proved that people like you are special, it’s hard to meet them, it’s hard to find them and it’s hard to get close to them but you allowed me to get close to you, you let me in, you opened the door you usually shut for everyone else. It was a privilege back then and it’s still a privilege now.

I still care because no one else brought the softer, more vulnerable side of me, everyone else makes me tougher, everyone else makes me colder, everyone else brings out the worst in me and I miss who I used to be when I was with you. I miss being myself.

I still care because I choose to care. I choose to be the person who will always care about you. I choose to be the person who will always have a soft spot for you. I choose to be the person you can always count on, no matter how long it has been and no matter how far you are. I choose to be your person. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.


About the author

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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