Thought Catalog

Sometimes I Wonder If I’m A Magnet For People Who Leave

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Unsplash / Levi Guzman

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a magnet for the ones who don’t care about love. The ones who put it last on their list of accomplishments. The ones who always believe that there’s something out there better than love.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a magnet for those who can’t keep their word. The ones who change their minds often, the ones who make promises they can’t keep and the ones who tell you everything you want to hear but never follow through.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a magnet for the unavailable. The ones who are still hung up on their ex, the ones who can’t get themselves to trust or love again, the guarded ones who’d rather just jump from one meaningless relationship to another instead of starting something real.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a magnet for the ones who don’t want to stay. The ones who always leave before it’s too late. The ones who always disappear right when you’re about to fall. The ones who vanish without a word, without closure, without a resolution.

But sometimes I wonder if maybe it’s me, they say you attract what you are so what if I’m the one who’s always leaving and I only find the ones who do too, the ones I know I can connect with, the ones I can understand.

What if this is some kind of cosmic voodoo or karma that’s haunting me from the first time I left the one who truly loved me, from the first time I ran away because I was scared. And if it is, when will it end?

All I know is that I want someone who stays, someone who forces me to stay too, someone who doesn’t make me want to go anywhere. Someone who calms down the chaos inside.

I want to be a magnet for all the right ones, the ones who are ready for love, the ones who are open to trying and getting hurt again, the ones who want something meaningful, the ones who actually crave commitment.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a magnet for the ones who leave because I’m still learning how to stay. I’m still learning how to be the person I’m looking for. I’m still learning how to give myself what I’ve been asking others to give me.

I guess only time will tell. TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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