It’s Not A Crime To Embrace The Way You Feel

It’s not a crime to want love. It’s not a crime to ask for more.

It’s not a crime to want consistency or attention or honesty. It’s not a crime to ask for clear communication and it’s not a crime to ask questions, to understand what’s going on and understand how someone feels about you.

It’s not a crime to want more even if the other person doesn’t. It’s not a crime to be honest and explicitly say what you want, what you expect and what you’re looking for. It’s not a crime to be real and it’s not a crime to be vulnerable.

It’s not a crime to walk away when you’re not getting what you want. It’s not a crime to protect your heart. It’s not a crime to stop talking someone who hurt you and it’s not a crime to get angry or upset when someone breaks your heart.

It’s not a crime to embrace the way you feel or embrace the way you love even if people call you ‘crazy.’ It’s not a crime to follow your heart.

The problem with modern love is that people make you think that you don’t have the right to feel things because nothing really happened or because you never really dated that person. They make you feel like you’re crazy if you say too much or show too much early on. They make you feel like you can’t be yourself because you have to play the game, you have to spice it up, you have to wait and act like you don’t care until they do. You have to keep setting traps for them to fall into until they fall for you.

But what kind of love is that? What kind of love will blossom from traps and games? What kind of love will stem from manipulation and deception? What kind of love will you see when you both take your masks off?

It’s not a crime to want someone who only wants you.

It’s not a crime to want someone who doesn’t call you crazy just because you care.

The real crime is lying to yourself when you know the truth. The real crime is expecting someone to give you more by sticking around as they live their life. The real crime is waiting to be chosen, waiting for someone to finally see you and waiting for them to give you a chance. The real crime is thinking you’re not worth a real shot. The real crime is believing that it’s okay wait in line for someone’s attention because that’s what everyone’s doing.

The real crime is believing that the love you’re looking for doesn’t exist because you’ve never found it. The real crime is giving up on the love you always wished for. The real crime is forcing your heart to half-love when it was born to love wholeheartedly.

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.