10 Ways Being Honest With Yourself Makes Your Love Life A Lot Easier

1. You eliminate the ones who are not on the same page. When you’re honest with yourself about what you’re looking for; whether you’re looking for something casual or serious, you become more aware of the types of relationships you get yourself into. You will not string someone along if they’re looking for something more and you won’t stick around when someone is not ready if you’re the one wanting more.

2. You don’t hold on when you need to let go. You don’t make lame excuses, you don’t give them the benefit of the doubt and you don’t try to twist the reality of the situation you’re in. You know that if certain things are missing in dating, the likelihood of it turning into something real is very slim so you let go before you get too attached.

3. You accept things for what they are. And that doesn’t mean you’re passive, but when you’re honest with yourself, you don’t try to fight your emotions or your feelings, you know that this is who you are and this is what you want so you don’t try to fight for things that are not happening or flowing in a natural way. In other words, you stop forcing the ones you like to see where you’re coming from or try too hard to change their minds.

4. You attract those who are honest with themselves too. There’s something rare and beautiful when you’re honest with yourself — even if it doesn’t make sense to other people — you get along with people who are the same way too. You attract people who are honest and don’t play too many games or try to be someone they’re not.

5. You won’t allow anyone else to tell you how you should feel. You eliminate all the noise around you. All those opinions, advice and people telling you what’s right or wrong. When you’re honest with yourself, you don’t really listen to others because you know that they’re not you and they won’t understand what you truly need or what will make you feel better.

6. You have the upper hand. Well not really, but you do have better control when you’re looking out for yourself. It doesn’t mean you won’t get heartbroken or rejected, but it does mean that you’ll know where you stand sooner than later so you can move on and not look back or wait for something that might not ever happen.

7. You don’t have to assume anything. When you’re honest with yourself and others about what you want or when you tell them how you feel without worrying about all these games and rules, you either build a better connection or you understand more about them and what they’re looking for instead of assuming everything without asking the other person.

8. You’re not afraid to show your vulnerability. With honesty, comes a great deal of emotional freedom. You’re not afraid to care more, be vulnerable or cry when things don’t work out. You’re more in touch with who you are and with your feelings. You don’t try to run away from them. You feel them all, and while this could be intense, it’s also liberating.

9. You get closer to finding what you’re looking for. When you no longer waste time dating people who are not ready or not serious or not as invested as you are, you prepare yourself for the ones who are and the ones who are just as honest with you as they are with themselves.

10. People can’t hold anything against you. They can’t tell you that you led them on or you weren’t straightforward. They can’t tell you that your intentions were not clear or that your actions were shady. What they see is what they get. And nothing feels better than knowing you did your part and it was up to them to take it or leave it. 

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.