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Cataloged in Love

It’s The ‘Maybes’ That Keep You Stuck

It’s the hope that one day it will happen that stops you from moving on.

It’s the excuses you make for them when they’re not all in that makes you want to fight harder for their attention to see if there’s potential.

It’s that one thing they said or did that made you believe that there is something going on, that there’s a spark, that there’s chemistry.

It’s the ‘connection’ you thought you had after one deep conversation and you can’t help but want more and hope they feel the same way.

It’s all maybes and scenarios and thoughts in your head. It’s all wishes and dreams but there’s nothing concrete about it, nothing tangible to touch and nothing consistent to make you believe that it’s real.

But because you want it to be, you start to fall for ‘maybes’ and ‘signs’ and small details that show that someone cares. You start to fall for words that don’t necessarily mean anything, for things they do that make you feel special even though you know they’re also doing the same things with other people.

It’s that one drunk text on a random night that makes you think you’re always on their mind.

It’s that one look they gave you that made you believe that you’re different.

It’s what they told your friend about you that reassured you that they want more.

It’s that one time they opened up and said they liked you that kept you going even if they didn’t do anything after that to prove it.

Because ‘maybe’ is the word you use when you’re not ready to lose a person so you find reasons for them to stay.

You find reasons to believe that at the right time, they’ll be who you want them to be. They’ll be more consistent, they’ll be the person they showed you they were in a moment of vulnerability.

But the truth is, most maybes turn into Nos, most maybes don’t come true, they remain maybes, possibilities, scenarios, they give us hope (sometimes false hope) that they might turn into something — that they might turn into love.

And sometimes they do, but more often than not, they don’t.

Because love is a little bit more certain than ‘maybe,’ it’s a little bit more consistent than drunk texts, it’s a lot more caring that just a few special nights, it’s a lot more than words, it’s a lot more than just wishful thinking or waiting for a sign.

There are so many maybes in life but love shouldn’t be one of them.

While I think that love is indeed uncertain because feelings change and people change, but at least you shouldn’t have to question how someone feels about you from the very start, you shouldn’t base your love on maybes, because if it starts with ‘maybe,’ the chances of you making it to the end are very slim.

Because maybe if you let go of all these maybes, you’ll be able to find something absolute — something definite. TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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