To The Parts Of Me That I Terribly Miss

 Allef Vinicius
Allef Vinicius

To my unguarded heart. I miss you. I miss how you used to make decisions without thinking, I miss how you were so hopeful and optimistic and full of love. I miss how you would believe in fairy tales, happy endings and forever. I miss your confidence in love and the way you believed in yourself. I miss you when you used to feel everything. When you used to give your all.

I miss who you were before they broke you.

To my fearlessness. I need you back. I need the days when you didn’t care about falling and scratching yourself, when you didn’t mind bruises and scars because the adventure was worth it. I miss you when you made me live a bold life, when you didn’t really think much of the consequences because you knew how to live for today. I miss you when you didn’t stop even if you were terrified.

I miss who you were before they told you to be careful.

To my peaceful mind. Where are you? Where have you gone? Why are you so consumed with negative thoughts, worst case scenarios and confusion? What happened to the days when you would just relax and the nights when you would get tired and sleep? It seems like you can’t sleep anymore, you can’t relax and you can’t give yourself a break.

I miss who you were before all these voices found their way to you.

To my smile. It’s been a while since I’ve sincerely felt you. When you were real and carefree, when you were honest and genuine and when you were effortless. Now it seems like I’m climbing a mountain to feel you again, it seems like you’ve been doing nothing but faking it and forcing yourself to pretend that you are happy. I miss you when you didn’t know how to act, when you were truly from the heart.

I miss who you were before they made you cry.

To my eyes. What happened to your vision? What happened to the way you saw the world? Why can’t you see the colors anymore? Why has everything been black or white for you lately? I miss when you used to see the best in people, when you used to look for the good in the bad, when you used to look up instead of looking down. I miss you when you used to see everything in shades of pink and purple, when you used to look forward to another day, another month and another year.

I miss who you were before they blinded you.

To the parts of me that I terribly miss: please come back, for I can’t go on without you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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