It’s a general rule in life that if you don’t think you deserve more, you’ll always accept less and you’ll always settle.
Because people have a tendency to sell you short, they have a tendency to give you just enough to get by and they have a natural tendency to depreciate you.
It all starts with what you’re okay with, with what you let people get away with, with the way you let others treat you and how you respond to those who do you wrong.
If you don’t think you have the right to ask for a raise, you’ll always be overworked and underpaid.
If you don’t think you have the right to ask for what you want in a relationship, you’ll never get the respect and appreciation that you wish for.
If you don’t think you have the right to know where you stand with someone you’re dating, you’ll always be left in the grey area wondering and waiting.
The irony is that recently it seems that asking for more, asking for your right or just asking for answers is frowned upon especially if you’re right, especially if you’re strong, especially if you’re aware of your own value.
But here’s what I learned about settling and staying quiet when you should speak up, it doesn’t win you any more friends, it doesn’t make you a likable person and it doesn’t make you a cooler person, it only makes people take you for granted — it only makes people think it’s okay to hurt you because you don’t get mad and you don’t confront anyone.
It’s never a bad idea to ask for more, to know your worth, to stand up for yourself even if you secretly don’t think you deserve any of it, because your mind can trick you into thinking that this is what you truly deserve and that asking for more is greedy or wrong or selfish.
But it’s not.
It’s not selfish to ask for more when you’re working hard, it’s not selfish to ask for commitment when you’re loyal and it’s not selfish to try to know what you mean to someone when you’re in love with them.
What’s selfish is playing it safe so you don’t have to worry about the consequences, or settling because you’re afraid of losing someone when they’re not afraid of losing you and it’s selfish to have a strong voice and not use it.
Because the only thing that’s stopping you from getting what you want or what you deserve is you.