15 Things You Learn When People Aren’t There For You


1. You learn that sometimes you can explain everything yet people will never truly understand what you’re going through until it happens to them.

2. You begin to understand that at the end of the day you’re the only one who can help yourself, so you start being proactive in solving your own problems.

3. You find it easier when you don’t talk about the things that are bothering you anymore because once you do, you subconsciously expect them to be there and you might get even more disappointed when they’re not.

4. You get to know who really cares about you and who just pretends to care.  It’s always the hard times that reveal who the good friends are.

5. You will find out that some of your closest friends don’t really know who you are or they’re used to one side of you and not the other. In other words, they love who you are when you’re happy not when you’re sad.

6. Some people belittle your problems because they’re not life-threatening so they will not really listen to you because they think it’s not that serious. These are the people you should stay away from.

7. You start to look for answers within instead of seeking validation and solutions outside of yourself which means that your actions will be based purely on your own judgments.

8. You learn how to be responsible for your own life. That if you mess up, no one will pick up your mess, that if you fail, blaming people won’t help you succeed. You simply learn how to fight your own battles alone because not everyone is on your team.

9. You learn the hard way how to accept yourself. It’s hard when you feel like there is no one there for you but it’s harder not to think it’s your fault, that maybe you’re a bad friend too, but you learn not to take it personally and you learn how to be strong on your own.

10. You will learn how to put up with loneliness. How to embrace being alone with your thoughts, alone with your confusion and alone with your fears which consequently makes you fearless.

11. You begin to understand that everyone has a role in your life and some people are just not meant to have a bigger role or an important one. Some people are just temporary visitors not friends for life.

12. It makes you approach your future relationships with caution. You’re not as trusting as you used to be, you stop confiding in people easily and you start setting boundaries with those who might not have your best interest at heart.

13. Sometimes it’s better not to tell people everything about you because you never know when or how they’ll hold it against you.

14. You will realize that you are actually capable of picking yourself up without anyone’s help and that you don’t need anyone to be there for you.

15. It’s a hard lesson but it’s the most important one. You can only survive on your own because some people only want to bring you down.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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