I didn’t want to lose you because at one point you meant so much, but then you started drifting away and slowly you disappeared out of my life. For the longest time, I thought I lost someone who cannot be replaced, I thought I pushed away someone who only comes once in a lifetime.
But after a few months, I realized that losing you wasn’t really a loss. Losing you made sense. Losing you was inevitable.
I lost you because I never really had you.
You were never really mine, you were always searching for something away from me — you were always thinking of someone else when you’re with me.
I lost you because I would’ve lost myself if I held on to you. I lost you to find myself.
I learned that it’s better to lose some people than hold on to the hope of them coming back, because a person who doesn’t want to lose you, will never let you slip away.
Losing you was hard, but it was also right, and that’s the biggest irony of all, when the hard thing and the right thing are the same.
Because it’s harder to try to hold on to you when you don’t care and it’s harder to keep waiting for you when you gave me no time or place to meet you when you’re ready.
It’s harder to know that out of all the choices you had, you chose to lose me.
But you made it easier for me to let you go.
You made it easier for me to think of losing you as another way to find myself — another way to save myself.
And for the first time, you made me realize that not every person you lose is a loss and that losing can sometimes be winning — when you lose someone who wanted to eventually lose you.
For the first time, you made me realize that losing someone is sometimes the only way to love yourself.
For the first time, you made me realize there is so much more to be found in losing someone who was never meant to stay.
Losing you was hard, but keeping you was harder.
Losing you was a lesson but not a loss.
Losing you was my favorite win.