Tonight, I’m Breaking Your Heart

 Gabi E. Mulder
Gabi E. Mulder

Today, I’m going to act like you.

Today, I’m going to take my time to reply to your messages, I will check all my emails first, check my Facebook and Instagram, and then after a few hours, when I go through everything else on my list, I will remember to reply half-heartedly to you.

Today, I’m going to make it a point to like every picture of all the attractive men I know just to send you a message that you’re not the only one or that you’re not as attractive as you think you are.

Today, I’m going to let you know that I have other options.

Today, I’m going to post things online so that you know I have access to my phone but I will still take my time responding to your messages because I want to let you know that you’re not a priority. I want to deliberately make it clear to you that I saw your message on time but didn’t respond right away.

Today, I’m not going to apologize for the little things I do; like ignoring you, or forgetting to ask about your day, or your meeting, or your test. I’m not going to apologize for putting myself first because I know you’ll always forgive me.

Today, I’m going to get away with everything because I know I can.

Tonight, I’m going to be late to our dinner because i’m not that excited to see you or spend time with you.

Tonight, I’m going to give you bits and pieces of hope so you can hold on to me but won’t promise or say anything you can hold against me.

Tonight, I’m going to talk about myself, about my day, about my dreams and desires and I want you to stroke my ego because this is the only reason why I’m hanging out with you. I’m only here for the attention.

Tonight, I’m going to talk about other men and talk about my ex and how I may still have a soft spot for him and I will slightly make you feel like you’re not good enough.

Tonight, I’m going to make you go home questioning my intentions, questioning if I care, reading too much into what I’m saying, confused about what I meant when I said this and what I was trying to tell you when I said that and I will make you stay up all night thinking about me.

Tonight, I’m going to sleep without sending you a good night text because I don’t want you to think I want more.

Tonight, I’m going to make you feel like you’re all alone.

Tonight, I’m going to make you feel that maybe I’m just not that into you. I’m going to make you sleep with tears in your eyes.

Tonight, I’m breaking your heart as I rest my head on the pillow and sleep peacefully. TC mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again

Nothing scares me more than someone loving me one day and deciding they don’t want me the next. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.

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  • http://crystalstethoscope.wordpress.com Crystal Stethoscope

    I don’t know if this is for real, or if it’s just a writing expression, but if it’s real, shame on you for playing these games!

    • http://markamsite.wordpress.com markam7

      I kind of think that a guy does this to her constantly and now she is describing her feelings in this way.
      Shame on him for doing this to her :(

    • http://markamsite.wordpress.com markam7

      And by kind of I mean – I’m sure.

  • https://healing.ly Walter

    So tonight you’re going to waste your time with the wrong person making effort to try to teach him hot to care for you. Maybe tonight you should just dump him and go out with friends and enjoy life. Tonight you’ll take care of yourself and not try to educate an unloving person because you can’t change them. Tonight you will prepare a new you, the same like before but without all the neediness and tonight you’ll just walk with an open heart being yourself. When you do that enough nights in a row someone will see the smile on your face and want to talk to you. Then he will not be able to forget that conversation and will chase you. You will hold back a little and see whether he really means it. Slowly you will let go and he will flip you head over hill and then you will have what you always deserved to have.

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