I’m Not Selfish For Moving On

 sashapritchard
sashapritchard

I’m not selfish.

I’m not selfish for moving on after you made it clear that you are more interested in doing your own thing and that you don’t know where your life will take you.

I let you live your life with or without me, why don’t you want me to live mine?

I’m not selfish for deciding to stop waiting for you to be ready, it was selfish of you to keep me waiting and naïve of you to think that I will do it again.

I think you just didn’t think I’d find anyone else and I think it hurts you more that someone else replaced you more than it hurts you that you lost me.

I’m not selfish for trying to find someone who’s on the same page, someone who sees a future with me, someone who doesn’t just want me there when it’s convenient for him and someone who has room for only one person in his heart.

I’m not selfish for wanting to forget you, I’m not selfish for trying to forget all the hurtful words you said and how you made me feel and I’m not selfish for finally mustering up the courage to treat you the same way you treated me.

Our story is over, I know you never thought I’d ever utter these words because you were the dream that kept me going but I realized that dreams could easily become nightmares if we don’t wake up. 

I know you genuinely wanted us to be friends but I have enough friends; friends who care about me much more than you ever will and friends who are actually there for me when I need them.

I’m not selfish for giving your friendship up, because no matter how easygoing I was, I will never be the girl who just sits there and watch you fall in love with someone else. I’m not going to be the girl who chooses to see you with someone else instead of not seeing you at all.

I’d rather not see you at all. I’d rather forget you even existed and I’d rather find someone who can be both my friend and my lover without giving this foolish ultimatum.

You don’t want me to move on because you don’t think anyone else would actually wait for you as long as I did, and you liked sleeping at night with the reassurance that someone out there will always wait for you and take you back no matter what.

I’m not selfish for taking away the reassurance you failed to give me.

And finally I’m not selfish for wanting to be happy; even if this happiness is not with you.

You’re selfish for wanting everything and giving nothing in return. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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