13 Men Share What They Really Mean When They Say ‘They’re Not Ready’

 iStockPhoto.com / Henk Badenhorst
iStockPhoto.com / Henk Badenhorst

1. It means I’m ready but not with her.

“I use that line when I like a girl but not enough to commit to her. It’s an exit strategy when you don’t want to lose the girl but at the same time you don’t want to be serious with her.” — Bryan, 26

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2. It means I’m not sure.

“I say that when I want to buy myself some more time to figure out if we are compatible.  I don’t want to promise her anything just yet unless I’m sure she is worth it.” — Dan, 25

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3. It means I’m not interested.

“This is crap. Guys want love just as much as girls, no guy would use that line if he is crazy about a girl. I say that when I’m not crazy about a girl and I don’t want to settle.” — Andy, 28

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4. It means the timing is off.

“I honestly have had times when I really wasn’t ready to take care of anyone else. So I guess it’s fair to say that when I say that, I mean it. Timing plays a big part in whether or not you’re ready for a relationship with someone and it’s mainly because that person has a lot to work on.” — Dave, 25

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5. It means I’m not over my ex.

“I said that when I wasn’t over my ex, no guy will ever tell you that, but that’s usually what it comes down to. He’s not over her and you don’t want to be a rebound and we’d probably take her back if she comes back in our lives.” — Ali, 29

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6. It means she’s not the right girl.

“Any guy will fall for the right girl and will try to make it work, using the whole ‘I’m not ready’ excuse is something all guys say when they haven’t met the right girl but are trying to.” — Eric, 28

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7. It means I just want to have fun.

“It’s not even about ready or not, it’s whether I even want to be in a relationship at this point or not. I could be ready to commit emotionally and financially and still choose not to. Guys just want to have fun sometimes and that’s why they will tell you they’re not ready but will be happy to date casually.” — John, 24

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8. It means I’m wasting time until the one I truly want makes up her mind.

“Every guy has this one girl he really wants to be with and sometimes she’s just not reciprocating the same feelings, so he dates other girls casually and uses this line when the girl starts getting attached or asking for more but it’s mainly because he has another girl in mind.” — Tim, 30

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9. It means I want to be alone.

“I date a lot but I truly want to be single, I just date for the fun of it but I don’t want to be with anyone right now. I like my space and my freedom and just doing whatever I want without having to consider someone else. I don’t want to share my life with someone.” — Nick, 24

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10. It means I can sense you’re at a different pace.

“It means you like me waaayy more than I like you and I’m not ready for that kind of emotional wave. There’s the thing, I could be ready if we were on the same page, but if I sense that a girl is falling for me and I’m not there yet, I will back off because I don’t want to disappoint her.” — Ian, 30

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11. It means I’m the one who’s not good enough.

“Listen, men like to feel like providers and God’s gift to you. So if I’m not feeling so great about myself or I’m out of shape and the girl is out of my league, I will tell her I’m not ready because I’m the one who’s not feeling good enough. Not her problem at all.” — Mike, 26

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12. It means I’ll probably cheat on you.

“Not ready means I want to sleep with as many women as possible and being with only one terrifies me. So I would say that because I know I won’t be faithful.” — Joel, 31

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13. It means I found a deal breaker.

“I could be ready but there’s a major deal breaker; usually it’s either bad sexual chemistry or major religious and cultural differences. This could be a reason not to move forward with the relationship, for me at least.” — Alex, 32.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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