This Is What You Really Need To Hear After A Breakup

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

Moving on after a breakup can be one of the hardest things we have to go through. It generates feelings of anger, doubt and a lot of self-reflection. I believe the first month is the hardest until it becomes a habit that this person is no longer in your life. It may take months or years to get over someone but it’s important to keep things in perspective. However, there are some things we can do to move on faster and let our exes go.

Accept that sometimes good relationships end due to several factors other than you.  Sometimes it’s timing, sometimes it’s the other person who needs time alone to work on their issues and sometimes it’s just a mutual decision when the passion is no longer there. It’s never one person’s fault why the relationship ended and it’s definitely not yours.

If you broke up a few times before then it wasn’t meant to be. Sometimes the evolution of the relationship gives you an idea on where it’s truly heading but you tend to ignore it because your feelings are clouding your judgment. If the relationship wasn’t steady or somewhat consistent, then your break up was inevitable.

Try to see the lesson in it. Every break up gives us a valuable lesson – an enlightening lesson that helps us in our next relationship and sometimes helps us figure ourselves out. You can learn new things about yourself after a breakup because it forces you to look within, expand your horizons and push yourself to do what’s uncomfortable and unfamiliar just to forget about everything.

Adopt a mindset of loving yourself more. We are not defined by our relationships or our breakups, we are defined by who we are and what we do. The best time to focus on yourself and engage in exciting hobbies and activities is after the breakup. It gives you the freedom to fill all your time with things that you truly want and gives you the distraction you need to move on faster.

It’s important to get rid of all reminders. Getting rid of the things that you two shared may not be easy but it’s necessary. You don’t get rid of the reminders out of revenge or bitterness, you get rid of them to create space for the new, and create a space that’s free of any painful memories.

Lean on your friends. Being surrounded by friends who love and care about you will help ease the feeling of rejection and will lift up your spirits. Having friends who try their hardest to make you happy when you’re down can boost your mood and make you feel loved when you are not feeling so lovable.

Forgive. The best way to move on is to forgive your ex even if they didn’t ask for forgiveness and forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the relationship. If you keep beating yourself up for the things that went wrong in the relationship and the ways you could’ve been better, you will never move on. Forgiveness is the key to letting go with no resentment.

Open yourself up to love again. Don’t let one bad relationship set the standard for all relationships. We all become a lot more guarded after a breakup but when you close yourself off and force your heart not to feel anything, you are only hurting yourself more, the only way to heal a broken heart is through love and love won’t enter if you keep blocking it. Giving love another chance is always worth it. TC mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again

Nothing scares me more than someone loving me one day and deciding they don’t want me the next. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.

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    On Wed, Apr 20, 2016 at 9:25 AM, Thought Catalog wrote:

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