I’m Sorry I’m Not Fragile

Noël Alva
Noël Alva

I’m sorry I’m not fragile. I’m sorry if I move on when I have to because that means you can’t ask for a second chance. I’m sorry if I don’t look back and weep at the memories that we had together and dream of living them again. I’m sorry I don’t have the urge to text you or call you when something reminds me of you.

I’m sorry I’m not fragile. I don’t dwell on what could have been and why good things come to an end. I don’t pray for you to come back and I don’t ask everyone about you. I don’t sleep in all day and drink all night to forget you. I’m sorry I’m not afraid of being alone.

I’m sorry I’m not scared of meeting someone new or falling in love again. I’m sorry your love didn’t scar me. I’m not afraid of letting people in; you didn’t make me want to build a wall or even a fence. I’m sorry I’m not fragile because I will love someone again with their darkness, I will not expect love to be easy or smooth – I will still give my heart out to those who are less than perfect and I will not expect them to rescue me from anything or rescue me from your love.

I’m sorry I am not empty. I have a life that fills me with joy, I have friends that take up my whole life, and I have a family I can lean on. I have dreams I plan on achieving and I have places I plan on visiting – with or without you. I’m sorry you’re not all I had, I’m sorry if you thought that my life revolved around you.

I’m sorry I’m not fragile. I don’t break easily and the extra weight doesn’t drag me down. I learned how to mend my heart and mend myself because everyday life invites me to dance and it would be a crime to stand still. I have seen too many broken souls who missed out on the beauty of life because they forgot to open up the blinds and I decided I will always let the light in.

I’m sorry if my strength makes me happy. I’m sorry you think I am heartless for picking up the pieces that you broke and polishing them to shine brighter. I’m sorry for smiling again like nothing ever took it away from me, I’m sorry you feel that you meant nothing to me. You meant a lot to me, but I mean more to me. But I want you to know that I can be fragile with a delicate heart and a soft soul, but with you I won’t be.

I’m sorry I’m not fragile. I’m sorry you weren’t able to change me, I’m sorry you had to watch someone fall out of love with you. I’m sorry that now you’re going to have to look inside yourself and face your demons, I’m sorry that now you might have to hit rock bottom for a while and push everyone away from you. But I promise you that you will be fine, I promise that after the storm has passed, you will come out of it stronger and you won’t be fragile anymore.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

Keep up with Rania on Instagram

More From Thought Catalog