Life comes with hardship in the packaging. Pain is just one of the guarantees of humanity. You win some and you lose some; what matters most is how you choose to respond, because believe it or not, you always do have a choice in that regard. I am not advocating for repressing your feelings and denying your pain, but to consider a new perspective on that super bad situation that you won’t stop crying over. You can be sad, but you don’t have to stay sad. Feel what you feel, process it, get up, dust your shoulders off and choose to move on with your life. Here are some things that you no longer need to cry over:

Spilt Milk

“I don’t like looking back. I’m always constantly looking forward. I’m not the one to sort of sit and cry over spilt milk. I’m too busy looking for the next cow.” -Gordon Ramsay

Spilt milk does not imply that you are the cause. This title is referring to situations that have happened in life that can no longer be rectified, no matter whose fault it was. You can’t (or really shouldn’t) drink spilt milk….ever. Let this be the same rule for your tears. Save them, it’s already too late for the milk. Some things are beyond repair, accept this and go find yourself some more milk (or go the extra mile and buy a cow). The best thing you can do with issues outside of your control like spilled milk is to wipe your table clean, learn from the spill and start over again.

That Silly Boy

“When a girl cries, few things are more worthless than a boy.” – Alexandra Bracken

Boys that make you want to cry only get to have that “power” because you let him matter to you. When you see that you don’t matter to him (watch for those actions, not what he texts), let him roll off your back. Your heart, like mine and many others, is very sensitive and if left unprotected will be compromised. You don’t have to cry over any boy who put himself in a position to lose you. Go call your girls and have a blast. You had a life before him and you will survive and thrive again.

A Rejection Letter

“There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk.” -Guy Gavriel Kay

Nobody likes to be rejected, but I doubt that you will get through life without a few of these bad-boys. So maybe instead of crying over it, ask why you were rejected if you really want to know, accept that this is not where you need to be right now, keep working on yourself, and dream again. Don’t get stuck. You still have so much inside of you to offer.

Slow Starts

“We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done.” – Alan Turin

If you are like me and like to go fast, then “slow down” is never the phrase that you want to hear. But sometimes, it’s not about what you want to hear. Slowing down is essential for your development, the development of your visions, and the quality of your work. It’s hard to notice things when you are racing the clock. It’s not easy. Consider patience an acquired taste. Every day is a growing opportunity.

Upon Realizing Your Limitations

“Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.” – Rosa Luxemburg

Sometime we think that we are the best. Like THE best that ever was (in our circle of friends). And then we fail. We make stupid mistakes, forget important things, and learn that we are in fact very human. We cannot survive off of 4 hours of sleep forever. All-nighters are destructive, time is precious, and we only have so much time. We learn that we cannot be all things to all men, and that there is power in discovering and identifying with our specific tribe. You may not be able to do everything, but what you can do you may actually learn to perfect if you embrace your limits and work within your current limits until you exceed them. Believe me, if you stick it long enough, you will. Plus, it’s no fun being the best in your “group”. There is always room for more growth.

Less than Ideal Circumstances

“The circumstances surrounding your birth is not as important as the opportunity to live life.” -Lailah Gifty Akita

Life doesn’t not pan out the way we plan it out. We don’t just get to execute and see it the way we dream. Quite frankly, life would be really boring and potentially really limiting if it did. With every twist and turn, we gain perspective. No matter the limitations of your past or your current state of life, there is imagination that lives within you and more potential than you know what to do with. Don’t focus so much on your circumstance that you forget that you have a say in how your life turns out. Grab the bull by the horns and try.

Failing Forward

“Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be.”– John Wooden

With that being said, just because you try doesn’t mean it will work out. Even if you made no mistakes executing your vision, it could just be the wrong time or not a good idea. Don’t dwell in your failure. Instead commend yourself for trying, get up and try again. You didn’t lose, you learned. Make it a point to approach risks with the attitude of a learner. This gets trickier as your skills gets more  defined, but try anyway. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. Failure is a guarantee, but you get to decide the direction that you allow it to push you in. Choose to fail forward.

I am proud of you girl. Don’t cry tonight if you don’t need to. Dream again and keep moving forward.