Your Emotions Are Valid, Don’t Be Afraid To Feel Them

Jordan Sanchez
Jordan Sanchez

As we get older, the way we express our feelings change too.

It is expected that you can’t complain about things that actually are bothering you a whole lot.

You’re ‘expected’ to swallow the hurt and the pain with a smile.

You’re ‘supposed’ to have learned by now that you’re the only one who is never going to leave you, even in the direst circumstances when all you have are strangers and enemies around you, and all your friends, who swore they’ll always be there in the haze of drunken hours and late night conversations, are absent and have sailed away into the sunset with their fortune-filled pockets.

You’re ‘supposed’ to never give up easily on things because of what “people” might think, even if they’re toxic.

They kill you slowly with things you need and ask why you are afraid of going after things you want.

The fear of society keeps us between careful drawn lines; we can’t dress outside these lines or we’re indecent, we can’t talk in a certain way because it’s vulgar or too childish.

Our emotions are repressed to such a degree that the only outlet we get to have is when we drink alcohol and do other recreational drugs. WHY do you think people are drawn to these things even with the knowledge that these things are very well capable of killing them? Hm?

BECAUSE that’s the only way they can feel something or be numb enough to not feel ANYTHING anymore. They’re a way to dull the senses so the deprivation of actually expressing their emotions in a healthy manner can be gulped down with the bitter taste of alcohol and the haze of recreational drugs.

If a child injures his/her hand or falls down and injures his/her knee, nobody tells the child to stop crying because it’s “childish”. If an adult falls down and hurts their knees or palms or elbows, they have to brush it off as NOTHING. They feel the exact same pain, no? 
Where is the boundary when you’re allowed to cry and after when does it become a necessity to hide your pain? And why is there a boundary in the first place?

TOO MANY horrible things are happening because we’re losing touch with our emotions. We’re all trying to turn ourselves or at least pretend to be as far away from them much as possible. 

You know what’s scary? That ironically humanity in the human race is vanishing at the speed of light. What if one day every human that exists is just a sociopath or a psychopath? What if feelings are banned altogether? I saw some books and movies already developing on that concept.

This isn’t a solitary thought anymore. And it scares the hell out of me. The insensitivity of people, the paranoia, the shaming of emotions, both for men and women, I mean, when does someone say ENOUGH?

I’m not suggesting that you turn into a whiny adult-child. I’m not suggesting to put everything you’re feeling or thinking out there (we already do that via all the social media anyway) but we don’t communicate the ESEENTIAL emotions that we feel. (To others, and even more to ourselves. We don’t let OUR OWN SELVES feel what we want to feel.)

Like Charles Bukowski said, “We don’t even ask for happiness, just a little less pain.”

If I ask you, “What do you feel when the sun rises? What do you feel when it starts to rain? How do you feel when you see your best friend/lover look into your eyes across the room and smile? How do you feel when your parents are laughing together at some old memory? How does it feel when you see leaves and flower petals blowing in the wind and settling on the delicate ripples of the quiet lake or river or swamp? How do you feel right now?” What will you say?

“I feel nothing.” Or 
”I don’t know.” Or 
”I feel empty.” Or 
”I feel lost.” Or 
”I feel incomplete/insufficient/trapped/suffocated/suppressed/underestimated.” Or
”I don’t feel like I’m alive.”

How many of you will say the following?

“I feel hopeful.” Or 
”I feel content.” Or
”I feel determined.” Or 
”I feel amazing.” Or 
”I feel loved.” Or
”I feel important.”

If you do, awesome, but if you don’t remember when was the last time you said that or thought that, please reflect where it all went to hell and find your way from that point again, but this time a different approach. A new one.

There is NOTHING AT ALL wrong with being sad. I’ll even say good that you’re feeling sad, it makes you humble, but don’t get stuck in it. Sadness is addicting, so is happiness but we all know which one kills us faster.

Don’t force yourself to be NOT sad, but try little by little to live without relying on the sadness, okay?

Then people will usually say, “Well, we have no problem in trying to communicate like that, but we have this feeling that nobody in our life really cares that much about us to listen to our deepest thoughts.”

If it’s like that, you should start first. Take the first step to save someone’s life whilst saving your own in the process. See how that relationship blooms, and see the dreadful, boring, painful and drawn out conversations that lasts for 10 seconds disappear.
And if you still have nobody like that in your life, ASK YOURSELF these questions.


Save yourself. Like right now. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Oshin Ahlawat

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