We’re all entitled, until we’re not.
We think that we’re grounded, until we realize we don’t know anything about true humility.
It’s not just the obviously outspoken, bold, ambitious, and reckless people. It’s also the quiet, so called ‘nice’, supposedly ‘empathetic’, self-claimed ‘humble’, self-righteous, validation-seeking people. These people are entitled, they think they’re better because they’re the savers. They like judging and fixing people, because they don’t know how to save themselves. They lack awareness of their authentic selves, shadow sides, and insecurities. They keep giving, and keep expecting. The other kind think they’re better because they’re the victims. They’re living in self-denial, because they don’t take accountability for their own issues, and blame others. They’re also disconnected from their real selves, dark sides, and vulnerabilities. They keep taking and keep expecting. We’re all victims and savers in some way or another, because we’re all entitled.
We’re all egotistic, each and every of one us, until we’re slapped repeatedly in the face by this thing called life. It happens again and again because we don’t learn. We blame our circumstances, and we blame each other. We blame men, we blame women. We blame the bad boys, we blame the crazy girls, we blame the nice guys, we blame the good girls. We don’t realize that the problem is not life, it was us all along.
We point fingers at others. He or she is not smart enough. They’re not good-looking enough. They’re too loud. They’re too soft. They’re not funny enough. They’re too sweet. They’re not witty enough. They’re too selfish. They’re not rich enough. They’re too ambitious. They’re not social enough. They’re not your kind of cool. They’re not your type. They have everything right, but one thing missing.
The truth is that no one is enough for us, because we’re not enough.
You’re pushing the blame on someone else, and someone else is pushing the blame on you. You might be enough for somebody, they might think you’re awesome but you can’t them what they want, because they’re not enough for you. You might find someone who is enough, but they can’t give you what you want because you’re not enough for them.
We’re all functioning at different leagues and levels of enough, and there is no peak to scale, no height to reach, no best to achieve. There is only better and bigger and on and on.
We talk so much about settling, we tell each other don’t settle, you deserve more. Yes, you do. You deserve to be treated right because you are worthy of dignity and respect. You deserve loyalty and love. You don’t deserve someone perfect because you’re not perfect. You don’t deserve someone who meets all your needs, because you can’t fulfill every single one of theirs. You don’t deserve to tick all the boxes on your checklist, because you can’t tick all the boxes on someone else’s.
I’m sorry, but someone needs to tell you that you don’t deserve to have everything you want (because you don’t really know what you need).
You want things.
You want to own a yacht, and do meaningful work, and visit your holiday home in the mountains, where your perfect soulmate awaits you with your exceptional children.
You want to have it all, you want everything without being everything yourself.
You want a partner who is intelligent but not opinionated, independent but not selfish, rich but not materialistic, successful but not a workaholic, funny but not sarcastic, good-looking but not egotistic, emotional but not irrational, pleasing but not too available, original but not eccentric, adventurous but not impulsive, ambitious but not reckless, charming but not a flirt.
You need a partner who is working towards being mentally resilient, emotionally intelligent, self-aware, compassionate, and reliable. You need a partner where the both of you want more for each other rather than from each other. The rest is just bonus points depending on where you stand on the superficial scale. Someone needs to tell you this, because I wish someone had told me that.
So please ask yourself if you’re entitled, so that you can fix the problem and start being happy.