1. They are liars. Emotionally abusive people lie to themselves and to others. They say one thing and mean another. Their behaviors do not match their intentions. Their words do not match their actions. They will make you doubt your own sanity.
2. Their insults are personal attacks. Emotionally abusive people push buttons. Once they know your vulnerabilities and secrets, they will use them against you. They win arguments by using personal insults to divert from the real problems that they are causing.
3. They use affection conditionally. Emotionally abusive people shower you with attention one day, and then withhold it the next. They make you feel really special, and then act like you mean nothing to them. This begins to subconsciously erode your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
4. They resort to emotional blackmail. Emotionally abusive people will stoop low and emotionally blackmail people to get their way. If you do what pleases them, they are happy. If you disagree with them, they become angry. They will demand, threaten, and place you in a difficult position such that you have no choice but to succumb.
5. They are manipulative. Emotionally abusive people are manipulative, and will use guilt and obligation to control you. They will take advantage of your kindness, generosity, sympathy or sense of duty, and use it to their favour.
6. They will blame you for their actions. Emotionally abusive people will push the blame of their erratic actions and unpredictable behaviors onto you. They will act like you are the dominating and abusive one. You will start to question your own memory, because they will deny the truth, and circumvent around it to save their own face.
7. They are superficially charming. Emotionally abusive people seem to have it all together. Since they are not in touch with their own faults and weaknesses, they are judgmental, and act like they are superior to others.
8. They are narcissistic. Emotionally abusive people are self-absorbed, and deluded with irrational ideas of their own specialness and grandeur. They are narcissistic, and use other people for their entertainment and pleasure.
9. They live in self-denial. Emotionally abusive people are secretly insecure and cover up this feeling of unworthiness by acting like they are better than others. They do not have the courage to face their true selves and live in denial.
10. They are like chameleons. Emotionally abusive people change with their circumstances. Since they do not have a fixed sense of self, they adjust according to what most serves their self-interest at the time. They think they are being smart by cheating people, rather than realizing that they are exhibiting the worst quality of human nature.
11. They lack empathy. Since they are narcissistic and insecure, they are not in touch with their feelings. They dissociated from their own emotions and cause drama in other’s lives. This internal disconnect manifests in external indifference and acts of callousness and cruelty.
12. They drain your energy. Any interactions with emotionally abusive people will leave you feeling emotionally drained. They rationalize their irrational behaviors, so please do not get caught up explaining the loopholes of their faulty logic.
13. They are toxic company. Emotionally abusive people are toxic and you should not try to change, cure or fix them. It is not your job to educate or enlighten them, if they are unwilling to see the error in their ways.
14. They are emotionally damaged. These people are emotionally damaged. The only person you can actually help is yourself, so lead by example, strengthen your boundaries, and do not engage with them.