We’re always looking for more than what we already have. Something bigger and better, more fulfilling or exciting or just different. We want both sides of the coin at the same time, the better and the best of everything.
We’ll meet countless people throughout our lives who will mostly come and go, a select few sticking and infiltrating the foundation of our lives. Most exit just as swiftly as they entered, leaving through a side door quietly and without ceremony. Sometimes it hurts and other times we’re okay with it. Sometimes we’re the ones who do the leaving, the ones who leaves scars on others.
Relationships are a constant revolving door, a new cast of characters almost every season, especially when it comes to love. We’re all on a constant search for ‘the one,’ that person who will complete us, make us whole. The one who will make life worth living at all hours, no matter the hurdles that seem too high for us to clear even while attempting our highest jump.
Most of us will spend the majority of our free time searching for that person to spend forever with, an endless myriad of awkward first dates, built up hours spent browsing dating sites and thinking up witty follow up texts, our self-worth measured in drawn-response times.
Needless to say, the dating game can be exhausting, discouraging. Some of us settle for what we think is good enough for right now, in fear of being left behind. Some get less than they truly deserve, pondering a plethora of what-ifs and half-truths.
But some of us get lucky.
Some of us will stumble upon another whom we click with when we least expect it. Will experience a first date that doesn’t feel like a chore but rather the meeting of two minds, souls even, who have known each other since the beginning of the universe. It’s the sort of connection that makes us feel like the luckiest person on earth; the time when we truly value what we’ve come across, because it’s new enough to clearly remember what it’s like to be without this cherished person in your life.
But like all relationships, we become comfortable, one of the most dangerous things that can happen between two people; because when we become comfortable we take things for granted. We start to imagine that no matter what we do, how we act or what we say, that person will always be there. That they will put up with whatever we throw their way.
Of course it’s great to feel that you’re truly able to be yourself in a relationship that you think will last forever, but you need to realize that a relationship, especially a romantic one, is about give and take. It’s about compromise, not bartering. It’s about finding that common ground, not pushing until they’ve reached their limit.
Sometimes comfort and such intense routine can cause our minds to wander; about what we’re not getting, about potential new experiences with potential new people, the excitement of meeting and discovering someone new.
Don’t fall into the trap.
Such intense and all-encompassing love between two people is so extremely rare, so difficult to find; something that usually only comes around once in a lifetime. It’s normal to feel stuck at times; routine can do that to a person. But instead of looking for something else, remember that there are ways to make it feel new again.
Remember why you noticed the light in your partners’ eyes, think back to the first time they held their hand in yours, the way their lips feel against yours. The relief you feel after a bad day when that one person lets you collapse you into their arms.
We’re taught to believe that we should always be on the lookout for something better. And sometimes it’s true that there’s more out there than what we already have. But take a long look at what you’re about to give up before you walk away.
Your forever person may belong to you in the moment, but there won’t be a forever anymore once you decide to let go.
Contrary to what the media tells us, love is rare and precious. Love is sacred. When someone allows you love them, they are giving you a piece of their heart to care for. You are doing the same. Because, really, love is just two people exchanging pieces of their hearts and souls, hoping beyond all hope that the other person will keep it placed softly between two enclosed palms. Hoping that you will keep them warm and safe with everything that you have inside of you.
When you have someone who returns that favor, don’t let them go. Ordinary connections are so fleeting, their end imminent and passing. But true love, true connection, should be cherished. And if you tend to it carefully and with love, it can be forever.