1. Listen to her.
Not just the important, ‘big’ things like the date of her birthday or her favorite color, but the little details, that she probably thinks you don’t really care about. Listen to her when she’s talking about how she wants to learn French and see Paris. Listen to her when she tells you how she got that scar on her elbow. Listen to the little things she thinks go in one ear and out the other, and prove to her that you hear everything she says whether she thinks it’s important or not. If she’s saying it, you care.
2. Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep.
If you know you can’t do something, then don’t tell her you will and let her down easy later. Don’t tell her you’ll do things you have no real intention of doing. The more you disappoint her, the less faith she has in you, and the more promises you break, the more she prepares herself to be hurt by you again. She doesn’t want to prepare herself for hurt and disappointment, so don’t hurt and disappoint her. It’s that easy.
3. Make her feel like she matters.
When you wake up in the morning lean over to kiss her before you check your instagram or snapchat. Make her feel like she’s one of the most important things in your life, because she truly is. Snapchat can wait. Her love should come before all of that nonsense.
4. Encourage her.
Your encouragement actually means the world to her because it lets her know you believe she can do anything. Whatever she sets her mind to, assure her she can do it. Let her know her dreams won’t always just be dreams.
5. Support her
When she’s pulling all nighters to get another degree, when she’s putting all of her energy into that one project she’s always dreamed of completing, support her. Don’t make her feel selfish and don’t play victim like you’re being neglected. Support her through her dreams. Be there when she needs you. Make her a PB&J when she’s been locked in her office all day and only eaten almonds. Make her flash cards when she has huge exam the next day. Support her because you want her to have everything she’s always dreamed of having.
Talk about it. Call her. Text her. Express yourself. You’ll never get what you want out of your relationship by being distant.
7. Share your feelings, don’t just listen to hers.
Occasionally she’ll open up to you, some times will be easier than others, but it doesn’t mean as much when she rolls her sleeves up, reveals her heart to you, and gets nothing in return. She wants to know how you’re feeling too, she doesn’t want to be the only vulnerable person in this relationship. She wants vulnerability to point in both directions.
8. Don’t agree with her just to please her.
She doesn’t want you to always agree, she wants you to be real. If you don’t like something say it. Don’t hide your feelings to avoid conflict, make them known to address the conflict and resolve it.
9. Be honest.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but honesty is where trust grows and continues to grow. Be honest about your feelings and your actions. Don’t lie about where you were, or what you did. Sometimes the truth will hurt, but lying to her will only make her feel stupid when the truth eventually comes out (because it always does). She’s not stupid, so don’t let your lies make her feel like she is.
10. Accept her.
Accept her for who she really is, all flaws, quirks, and weird eccentricities included. Don’t make her feel like she has to change to be loved by you. Love her as she is and motivate her to be the person she wants to be.