This Is Why Quality Girls Attract Not-So-Quality Guys

God & Man

A Quality girl knows she’s quality. She understands her worth, even if it’s an understanding she keeps to herself. She knows she has everything to offer, which ironically (and unfortunately) leads her to offer it to the wrong people. Because not everyone can comprehend the kind of love she has to give. Not everyone can comprehend her selflessness, her ability to do things for the people she loves with no motive for recognition. Not everyone can comprehend the way she truly listens, pays attention, her ability to hear someone’s ideas, their hopes and dreams, their beliefs and opinions, and do so without detouring the conversation to make it about herself. Not everyone can comprehend all of the qualities that make her Quality, only the right people can.

Sometimes Quality girls want answers, because they feel they deserve them, and they do, but sometimes they ask the wrong questions, and not-so-quality guys know this, they prey on this. She’ll ask herself what she’s doing wrong, what it is about her that’s not enough. How can she be better for him? These are all of the wrong questions.

These are the questions that Quality girls ask themselves and heartbreakingly tear themselves apart about. These are the questions they ask when they waste their time with people who don’t deserve it, with people they think will change, people they hope that maybe they can fix, people who will somehow magically transform into their idea of someone who deserves their love.

Sometimes Quality girls give out second chances, often times it’s too liberally. Because they hope the person they’re giving them to is as good of a person as they are, that they’ll take their second chance and cherish it, that they’ll prove they’re worth it, that they’re worth every chance a Quality girl will give them.

And Quality girls aren’t immune to the disappointment that comes after, because while Quality girls have been let down before, it doesn’t make it any easier the next time it happens, doesn’t make it any less painful. Her third heartbreak isn’t any less depressing than the first, if anything it’s more, because each consecutive heartbreak  she experiences makes her feel like even more of a failure.

And while Quality girls try to pretend like it’s no big deal, that their hurting heart is just another bump in the road, deep down it feels like a mountain they’re not equipped to climb. Because they think of the people who hurt them as stepping stones along the journey to finding the person they’re meant to be with, but sometimes the people who hurt them don’t even deserve that much recognition. The not-so-quality guys who hurt a Quality girl aren’t stepping stones, they’re little pebbles of dirt in an otherwise smoothly paved road, and it’s better to just completely forget them, completely let them go, and leave them in the past where they belong. No one looks back at a winding road and remembers dirt pebbles.

Quality girls see the best in people, and that’s often a side effect of their fear of being lonely. Because while Quality girls are used to independence, accustomed to it, they also appreciate companionship, they desire it. They know that they can make it on their own, but that doesn’t mean they want to. Because what they want is someone who they think about when they wake up in the morning, the same person they think about before they go to sleep. They want a person who gives them the confidence to feel like they’re not just going to up and leave. They want someone who eliminates the fear of being lonely, because they know they’ll be around and stay around. Quality girls already have independence, what they want is someone who appreciates it.

For every thing that makes her Quality, every strength, every flaw, every vulnerability, there is a not-so-quality guy just waiting to soak it all up, to swim in her sea of dreams, to ride her wave of adrenaline and adventure, to tread through her emotional waters only to drown in them afterwards and make her feel depleted. But to all Quality girls I say this, don’t let him soak up one bit of your invigorating energy. Don’t even give him the chance to dip his feet. A Quality girl deserves a Quality guy, and he will float through it all. He won’t drown, or tread, or need to be saved, he’ll just be there, and you’ll be genuinely happy that he is. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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