To The Girls Who Fall For Boys Who Don’t Know How To Love

To the girls who fall for boys who don’t know how to love, stop asking why you continue to give your heart to someone who doesn’t understand it, stop wondering why you can’t find the person who loves you the way you love them, stop asking questions that have answers you’ll search endlessly for, but never find.

Stop all of these things that make you feel like you were wrong for falling. You weren’t wrong for falling, and you’ll never be wrong for opening your heart, for exposing the most fragile parts of yourself to someone in hopes that they won’t break them.

Your vulnerabilities aren’t wrong, they’re courageous.

And sometimes it feels like the people who do end up breaking our hearts are stronger than us. Because they left, and they left us with something we’re often reluctant to admit that we’re afraid of, ourselves. The ones who break our hearts remind us what it’s like to be alone. And that solitude makes us feel weak, because although we still have moments in our life to look forward to, they don’t seem as exciting when that person isn’t there to share them with. And as we think about the time it takes for our broken hearts to heal we wonder if the person who left has any healing to do at all.

We feel like they got the easy way out. We feel like they made us for fall for them. Like they had this scheme planned all along. ‘Make her fall for me and then I’ll leave.’ But you weren’t his scheme. You weren’t really his anything, you weren’t his. He didn’t make you fall. You chose to fall. And the decision of falling wasn’t the wrong one. You decided to share your heart with someone who didn’t know how to love, someone who wasn’t ready to love, but your heart is yours and it’s still yours even when you share it with the wrong people.

If there’s one thing you demonstrate while falling for the boy who doesn’t know how to love, it’s that you’re capable. You’re capable of giving love, of feeling love, of being completely destroyed by it and somehow surviving. You’re capable of change, of welcoming people in and out of your life like a revolving door and knowing that it happens, that not everyone is meant to be permanent, that you are able to cherish moments with the people in your life who make you happy, and you’re able to let go of those who don’t.

To the girls who fall for boys who don’t know how to love, you are more powerful than you realize. Your falling proves you’re strong because the strength it takes to fall is the strength it takes to overcome the fear of trying. And you’ve tried what feels like one too many times, but please continue to fall. Please continue to be strong because one of these days you’ll fall for the boy who does know how to love, and that love will change you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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