Ladies Be Warned, 16 Men Share The Red Flags You Should Stay Far Away From

The men of r/AskMen are warning us all by sharing the red flags some guys display that they feel we should not only know about, but stay away from. When you come across a guy who demonstrates these behaviors, be careful.


1. Prince charming isn’t actually charming.

“If he always says the right thing at the right time, is so charming and plays all his cards right, but you never saw his friends or where he lives, it’s not his first Tango and not his last.”

2. How he treats strangers (especially ones who serve him).

“How does he treat his waiter/bartender. That’s a total stranger. You can get a baseline for his kindness, patience, intolerance, generosity. So many things.”

3. He gets you to take care of him out of pity. .

“If the world seems out to get the poor guy, and you think he needs you, you need to get the fuck out of there. His own choices are causing the chaos and he’ll drag you down with him. Dont date out of pity, boyfriends are not lost puppies that just need a bath and some love to be made whole again.”

4. He hides the fact that he’s in a relationship.

“If he seems to be hiding you or keeping you away from his friends/relatives or keeps making excuses, he’s probably just using you.”

5. He refuses to use condoms.

“If he insist that condoms feel bad and really wants to go bareback even if you’re only dating for a few days/weeks or even just meeting for a hookup : Run as fast as you can.”

6. Bad relationships with other women in their life.

“Feeling anything is owed to them.

A poor relationship with females in their life. If you hear about him having a bad relationship with his mother, sisters, and prior girlfriends, yeah… probably you’re going to be added to that list.

Not respecting their date/girlfriend’s decisions. This doesn’t even have to involve anything sexual, trying to push a date to eat a particular dish after she has said she wanted to eat something else is basic controlling behavior.

And pretty much you can use any of these as red flags in women for men too.”

7. Interacts with women differently when he’s around other men.

“If a guy brags about how big his penis is. If a guy interacts with/speaks of women differently in front of other men in the presence of women. Two big flags for a dick head. No pun intended.”

8. No self-confidence.

“Low self esteem. Want someone that really tries hard? Is doing fine at life, has stayed out of trouble and drama? Has depth, and isn’t easy prey for others? Have I got a deal for you.

It’s great until it isn’t. You can’t fix it, that’s all them. It doesn’t matter if they’re great, they think they are shit. It shifts and changes under their skin. It never leaves them alone, and you’ll always be outside, wondering what the fuck is going on. They will be a stranger to you, because they don’t believe they deserve love, and can’t risk showing their true face.

It’s as crippling as any other disability, but hides so well you probably just think “he’s shy”. Shy doesn’t wreck you, this does.”

9. Only talks to women at parties.

“I’m sure women can see this far sooner than I do, but at parties if a guy is only talking to girls, he didn’t go there to make friends, he went there to get laid. I go to a fair amount of “make new friends” events and there are always some guys who just go from talking to one girl to another and get visibly upset if I so much as try to introduce myself. It’s even worse if he came with friends and then ignores his friends all night, or always tries to one-up them in conversations.”

10. Impulsive.

“Acts impulsively without considering the consequences + doesn’t like the way condoms feel = do not get in bed with this guy.”

11. The charmer.

“Overly charming. Never met an overly charming (always wide smile, kiss ass type, showy) man who wasn’t hiding one or several horrible character flaws.”

12. The ‘Just Friends’ guy isn’t your friend.

“I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve told a female friend that the guy who is “just a friend” is not actually just a friend. They never believe me, then a few months later he snaps, goes on a NiceGuy tirade, and stops being friends with her. If he constantly wants to hang out with you 1 on 1, is especially nice to you, and does things for you that he wouldn’t normally do for his other friends, chances are he’s not just trying to be a friend.”

13. The manipulator.

“Beware of the manipulator. They come in so many packages but what they do is emotionally and mentally damaging. They know people, they understand what makes them tick. They are usually selfish, incredibly nice and the good manipulator will seem like the perfect gentleman at the beginning. All he’s doing is collecting information. He’s easy to connect with, is kind to strangers.”

14. He’s at your beck and call.

“Capitulating to your wants or needs at every turn at the expense of his own. Neediness alert!”

15. Controlling.

“All the red flags I’ve seen in men…are the same red flags I’ve seen in women too. Untrusting/controlling and manipulative behavior looks the same in both genders and should be handled with care for both.”

16. His friends.

“If his friends are shitty, he is shitty. Also, I hate cheating and cheaters, and will rat them out SO FAST, every time.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

Keep up with Nicole on Instagram and Twitter

More From Thought Catalog