17 Men On The Most Attractive Non-Physical Quality A Girl Can Possess

Sometimes it seems that all men care about is a woman’s physical appearance, but over on r/AskMen, they’re discussing the non-physical qualities about women that they’re most attracted to.


1. Kindness

“Kindness. Without a kind heart I’d rather date a porcupine.”

2. Natural curiosity and desire for discovery

“Curiosity about the world. Not just ‘oh that’s interesting’ but rather a drive to be constantly learning about themselves and the world around them.”

3. A woman who says what she feels

“Honesty and openness. If a girl is honest and always says what’s on her mind, that makes me happy.”

4. She’s not afraid to be quirky

“If she isn’t afraid to be a little bit on the weird/goofy side…”

5. Someone who seeks improvement

“Persistence in making themselves or those around them better.

Willing to stand up for beliefs.

What those things are can vary, but I want someone who keeps moving forward.”

6. Drive

“There’s nothing hotter than a woman with a passion for something.”

7. They’re not afraid to show affection

“Touchy. Snuggles all day is literally the most important thing.”

8. She’s able to handle her finances

“Financially responsible. It’s astonishing how many people my age can’t balance a check book.”

9. Not just book smart.

“Intelligence – this doesn’t have to mean book smart, as in having a degree in STEM. It does mean being mentally active. In this includes wittiness and humor. In a more abstract way, I’m looking for a spark in someone.

Independence – She has her life in order. This generally means financial, but emotional stability is a must. I cannot tolerate a relationship where it’s the 3rd time this week you’ve cried at the drop of a hat over something seemingly innocuous.

Also, while I really enjoy your company, I enjoy being alone a lot, and anyone I date generally should be able to go our and have a good time without me.”

10. She can take a joke and throw one right back at me

“Sarcasm. I love girls who give me shit. It’s so damn rare though.”

11. Her willingness to understand

“My initial thought was “GOD DAMMIT I JUST WANT YOU TO BE NICE TO ME” but that’s a little too basic to be helpful. Even if it’s not as common as it should be.

So I’m going to go with a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. It makes resolving conflict and fixing problems in the relationship so much easier when her response to an issue isn’t ‘well this is just who I am.'”

12. She doesn’t care about the status quo

“I like an iconoclast, an unconventional woman, not for the sake of rebellion, but one who is not unduly inhibited by cultural norms, one who is creative about how she lives.”

13. Her ability to hold a conversation

“Being able to pull her weight in a conversation. A lot of the time you can tell if a woman has never had to make any effort in how she interacts with guys, and it’s a colossal turnoff.”

14. If she feels there’s something wrong with her life she takes action

“Self awareness, or the general will to have some involvement in their own happiness and well being.

I tend to admire people who actually do something to improve their lives rather than endlessly bitching about things and expecting other people to manage their happiness.”

15. Someone who listens

“Good listener, curious, willing to challenge her own thoughts and beliefs as well as mine. Generally interested in a given hobby, area, discipline. Oh and up front with how she is feeling.”

16. She has a good head on her shoulders

“Emotional stability. I don’t care how hot she is, I can’t stand unstable women.”

17. She exudes positivity

“Optimism to outweigh my pessimism. I would dare to say that passion for life, but I’m not sure how this goes with my character, probably terribly.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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