15 Men Explain How They’d Like A Woman To Let Them Know They’re Interested

Wondering how to let a guy know you’re interested in him? The men of r/AskReddit explain how exactly they’d like you to go about it.


1. Persistence

“Before my fiancé and I started dating, I gave her a ride from church to the bowling alley. She sent me a Facebook message that said ‘Thanks for the ride, I appreciated it.’ I assumed she was being polite.

The second message, a week later, was “You’re cool and funny, we should hang out.’ She was clear. Now she’s engaged.”

2. The arm touch

While “Tell us” is great advice, there are other obvious things you could do.

Now, many girls do this, but it’s a touch on the arm or passing an item back and forth or something. These are things a guy will assume is just friendly touching. If you find excuses for neck/back rubs, keep your hand on our arm for an extended time, or go for the risky hand-on-knee-or-lower-thigh, we’re much more likely to get the hint or feel the charge in the air.

Make first moves. Call -us- to go hangout ‘innocently’ and set it up as a date like activity. Or buy just me a drink. Things like that.

3. Ask us out

A girl can ask a guy out on a date. This shows interest, I hate how taboo it is.

4. It’s okay to send the first text

“Don’t ignore us when we text you and text us first sometimes.”

5. Don’t be subtle, be outright

“Guys don’t tend to take subtle hints as well as women think they should. Sometimes ya gotta come right out and say it.”

7. Do all the cliché flirty stuff

“If they are obviously interested in you, like everyone else is saying: Tell them.

If you require more tact because a guy is a friend perhaps, then do the cliched flirty stuff that all guys have read or been told about. Play with your hair, touch their knee when your talking to them, laugh at every joke, no matter how bad.

Being super-oblivious myself, a girl who liked me was having a hard time getting me to cotton on. I only did when she laughed at something I said that fell completely flat. That I noticed. Still, I had to test my new theory so told an even more horrendously bad joke. She laughed again so I knew.

Anyway, story over. Most importantly though, when you think you have the point across, don’t suddenly reverse tactics and wait for the guy to finalise the deal, from our point of view, you’ve changed your mind and we’ll go into an insecurity spiral. At least I would.”

8. Honesty, say what you mean, and what you want.

“How much easier would dating be if people just told people when they were interested?”

9. Text him something that will make him horny

“Text him this
( . )( . )
For the real thing meet me later.”

10. Speak our language

“It’s not that guys are “dumb” it’s that guys are conditioned to be bold and direct with what they want so someone who’s coy is speaking a totally different language.”

11. Don’t act like a friend

“Us guys are nervous that girls just want to be friends. If you like a guy, tell him. Make it blatantly obvious. Do not ever treat every guy the same if you only like one, the one you like will never get it.”

12. The ‘hangout’ offer

“Say, ‘Hey, we should hang out some time.’ “

13. Ask a friend to do it for you if you’re too scared

“My S.O. was so embarrassed to tell me she liked me, so she had a friend do it. I wasnt really looking for a relationship at the time but i thought that was cute and decided to give it a chance. Been dating ever since, going on three years.”

14. Don’t rely on hints

“If you’re wondering ‘how do I show interest?’

You don’t. You can twirl your hair and it’ll mean something to one guy and nothing to another. You can smile at him a lot and it’ll mean something to one guy and nothing to another. You can give him a hug and it’ll mean something to one guy and nothing to another. You can say “let’s have sex” and it’ll mean something to one guy and nothing to another. Just tell the guy. Don’t rely on hints.”

15. Do things for us

“My current girlfriend offered to pay for a trip to the mountains, made dinner for me twice, and came over almost every other day after we first met… all within a month of us meeting… before i figured it out… she literally jumped on me and then i got the hint… sometimes you do just have to say ‘I’m fucking interested in you, ask me out.'” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

More From Thought Catalog