The beginning phase is always the best, and apparently we’re in it, and if what ‘they‘ say is true this feeling will run out, but I don’t want to think about the day when I wake up not feeling the way I do right now with you.
I want every day with you to feel like the first.
I want it to feel like the beginning, because even if we’re far from day one we should still remember how to love each other, how to make one another feel special, and wanted.
I don’t want the butterflies to be replaced with exhaustion, or annoyance, or spite. I want the butterflies to stay. I still want the same smile to unconsciously appear when I look at my phone and see your name, the smile that happens unintentionally, the smile that happens when everyone around me knows I’m thinking of you.
I still want to feel like I never want you to leave, and I still want to feel an unnecessary loneliness when you do. Because I know I’ll be seeing you again soon, but I still want it to feel like it’s never soon enough.
I still want there to be effort. I still want the happiness to be maintained, and for each of us to continue to do the little things that show how much we care. I still want to show you that you matter, to show you that even if there’s a time in my life when other things come before you, you still have a place here.
I still want the laughter to be exhilarating.
I still want your laugh to make me laugh, and I still want to think, ‘Wow, I love him’ when it does.
I still want you to be the first thing I think about when I wake up. I still want you to think of me.
I still want to unknowingly bring you up in daily conversations, to talk about how wonderful you are without even realizing it.
I still want you to give me a reason to feel lucky, to feel lucky that someone like you would love someone like me. Someone who makes love feel certain, someone who makes me feel certain.
I still want that nervousness, the same nervousness I felt when you first whispered that you loved me. When I admitted I was scared, and you reassured me that I didn’t have to be.
I want the feeling of beginning to endure until the end.
I want to make you feel like every day with me is the first, and I want to make you feel like you’ll never have to worry about there being a last.