1. When someone gives you cardinal directions, it doesn’t help.
When your friend tells you you’re traveling East, and you need to be traveling South, you hear her, but you don’t know how to make that happen. You’re not lost because you don’t know if your destination is North, East, South, or West; you’re lost because you’re terrible with directions. In your mind Cardinal directions only have meaning when it comes to Kanye and Kim.
2. Your life depends on your phone’s GPS.
Your most used app isn’t Tinder or Yelp or GrubHub, it’s Google Maps, and not even that can save you.
3. Using your phone’s GPS often gets you even more lost.
The bar is right down the street from your current location, but you use your phone’s GPS just to be safe, and somehow you end up on the opposite side of the city.
4. You’re constantly late because you get lost.
You’re not late because you’re slow or relaxed, you’re late because you took four wrong turns and went the wrong direction for three miles.
5. You leave ridiculously early if you’re going somewhere you’ve never been.
This is to avoid the scenario above.
6. You pretend you’re a tourist when someone asks for directions.
They ask you how to get to that famous cheesesteak joint, and you’ve been there numerous times, but you have no idea how to get there, so to avoid feeling stupid you tell them you’re not from around here.
7. You’re never the navigator when it comes to road trips.
Sometimes you volunteer to drive just so you don’t have to be the one giving directions. That way when the person who is the navigator tells you the wrong way to go you don’t have to take the blame.
8. Your friends are extremely aware of your (terrible) sense of direction.
When you tell them, “I think we should go left,” they immediately turn right.
9. Your cabs are always super expensive because you don’t know any shortcuts.
The driver asks you if you have a preferred route, and your answer is always, “Um, I’m sure whatever you take will be fine.” When you see your Uber receipt you wish you weren’t directionally challenged.
10. You never remember how to get home.
Same city, new restaurant, even if it’s right around the corner, you still don’t know how to get home. You end up walking in circles until you notice you’ve passed that same house with the weird green door about 8 times more than you should’ve.