9 Troubles With Being The Girl Who Knows It’s Not A Matter Of If He’ll Break Your Heart, But When

The ultimate pessimist when it comes to love, she’s not waiting to figure out if it’s ‘true’ or ‘real’ or whatever other word they use to legitimize how a man feels about a woman, she’s just trying to soak up as much happiness as she possibly can before he leaves, because in her mind it’s not a matter of if he will, but when.
Twenty20 / lolamyers
Twenty20 / lolamyers

1. She doesn’t realize she’s sabotaging her own relationship.

She’s constantly anticipating him walking out of her life, so she can’t enjoy the time that he’s in it. Her perpetual fear of being left is the fork in the road that will make her take the wrong direction, and it’s not her fault for mistaking which way to go, it’s her fault for creating the fork in the first place. If she wasn’t scared of him leaving, there would be no wrong direction to take.

2. It puts a damper on the happiness he brings her.

She has a burning sensation in the back of her mind that she shouldn’t get used to the happiness he makes her feel, because she won’t miss something she never had; she will only miss him if she enjoys him, but she needs to realize that happiness is a feeling she deserves.

3. She constantly carries unnecessary weight on her shoulders.

She sees her relationship as a high she’ll have to come down from, but her relationship isn’t an escape from reality, it’s a part of her life, and whether it lasts for one day or 30 years, she won’t be able to enjoy it if she can only see its end.

4. She won’t open up.

She will only let someone in if she believes they’re going to stay. She keeps the doors closed because she fears the potential pain of opening them, and she has to learn that one day they will open with ease, but she’ll never know until she lets go of the idea that everyone will leave her.

5. There will always be the feeling that there could be more.

He will wonder why he feels as though the relationship has reached a plateau. How things could be so wonderful in the beginning, and how they just kept getting better and better so much so that he felt it was too good to be true, and suddenly it all leveled out. And it has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with her, with her constant fixation that he’s only building her up to eventually tear her down. And he’ll try to convince her that she’s wrong, that he’s not going anywhere, but it doesn’t matter how hard he tries, because it’s something she has to realize on her own.

6. She’s scared of chasing him away.

She will never give him all of her because she fears that it will scare him. She doesn’t realize that the only reason she thinks he’ll run away is because she’s the one who’s terrified.

7. She’s self-conscious that she loves him more than he loves her.

Love is something she continues to measure, but she becomes so obsessed with how much love is being given and taken, that she can’t appreciate the beauty of it being there at all.

8. She hates to think about the future.

She’s afraid he won’t be a part of it. Plans are something she isn’t good at making because she believes he wants to leave before they happen.

9. She doesn’t recognize her mistakes until after he leaves.

She’ll look back and realize her delusion, but it will be too late. The only thing she can do is learn to move forward and start something new without the burden of worrying about when it will end. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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