1. You only have one T-shirt with your sorority letters.
Other sorority girls open their dresser drawers to an entire collection of sorority letters in every color and print imagined. They ask you, “Should I do the cheetah with the blue? Or the madras with the pink? What are you going to wear?” You grab your only sorority T-shirt out of the hamper that still smells like last week’s day party, “I think I’ll wear this one.”
2. All of your friends who don’t know you’re in a sorority are shocked when you tell them that you are.
It will come up in casual conversation. You’ll run into a sorority sister out one night and your friend will ask how you know her. “She’s in my sorority,” is always your response, and then comes the shock and awe, “You were in a sorority?!”
3. You don’t want to date, marry, or fuck a frat boy.
Sorority girls and frat boys are like Barbie and Ken, right? When you’re the antithesis of a sorority girl, the last person you have any romantic interest in is a boy who would put Beer Pong Champion on his résumé if he could.
4. You forget the words to all of your sorority chants.
When you go to reunions with other alumni and everyone sings sorority songs at the top of their lungs you silently move your lips hoping to fool everyone that you still remember the words to their most cherished cheers and chants.
5. You don’t remember your sorority history.
Sad, but true. There’s so many symbols, and dates, and people, and names, and while you were learning all of these you had to learn the life cycle of a cell for Biology 101. The founders, and principles were fresh in your mind the first couple of years, but after graduation you mix up the date your sorority was founded with your Mom’s birthday…1958…?
6. You never volunteered for leadership positions.
Because you knew you wouldn’t be 100% committed. When other girls were endlessly excited to run for Vice President you smiled, nodded, and said, “Congratulations!” but just making it to your weekly sorority meeting was enough responsibility for you.
7. You missed so many weekly meetings that your sisters forgot you were even in the sisterhood.
You’d receive texts every week, “Are you going to meeting today?” You reply, “Oh, shoot I have a study group for my chem class!” Meanwhile you lock yourself in your room and watch Shameless for the next 2 hours.
8. You’re missing from the majority of group photos.
Every photo you look back on of your pledge class you realize you’re not in. Each caption most likely says “Pledge Class ’10 minus [insert name here]”
9. You rarely ever respond to alumni emails.
It’s not that you don’t love your sorority sisters, it’s just that you become even less involved after graduation. On top of bills, work, food, and your ever-struggling love life, you don’t have much time to RSVP for yearly BBQ’s.
10. You have guilt because you constantly feel like a terrible sister.
You know you’ll never fit that sorority girl mold, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel bad about it. Sometimes you wish you were the girl who baked cupcakes with your sorority letters on them, but then you think about it for a second longer and can’t help but laugh at the idea. You’re thankful for all of the experiences your sorority gave you: lifelong friends, philanthropic values, costume parties, and the ability to handle a room full of 100 other women. But you just have to accept the fact that you’ll never be a typical sorority girl.