16 Women With Male Roommates Share What They’ve Learned About Male Behavior

Twenty20 / stellabella
Twenty20 / stellabella

1. “Surprisingly, he’s neater than I am, which is actually really annoying. When he tells me I didn’t fold the bathroom hand towel the right way, please. Thank god he’s not my husband!” —Tracy, 25

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2. “I live with two guys, just them and me. Their guy talk is terrifying. Asses and tits barely scratch the surface, one time they had an entire conversation on which girl gave their balls more attention during oral. Yeah, I can’t wait until our lease is up. I won’t ever live with two single guys again.” —Lindsay, 24

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3. “You know when you text a guy, and they wait like 3 hours to respond? They saw the text the moment you sent it, and are just trying to make you think they’re doing something more important. Trust me, the guy I live with does this all the time. I’ve told him a girl appreciates when he just answers like a normal person, but he’s convinced his little texting game ‘works every time.'” —Andrea, 25

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4. “I’ve learned men fart, a lot.” —Illana, 23

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5. “He got so turned on when he saw my vibrator, it actually kind of creeped me out. When he picked it up I was like, ‘DON’T TOUCH THAT.'” —Jennifer, 24

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6. “In college I lived with one other girl and two guys, so it was equal in terms of gender. We actually loved it because they’d give us the male perspective with all of our boyfriend problems. Like when I’d get jealous of him having a female calc tutor, they would tell me I needed to relax, and they were right. Living with guys helps you keep your crazy girl on lockdown. Living with other girls almost has the opposite effect, it brings out your crazy.” —Sasha, 24

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7. “I learned despite what they want us to think, they actually care how women see them. When I lived with my guy friend, every time he had a date he would try on at least 5 different shirts and pants before he walked out the door, and usually he ended up wearing the first thing he tried on anyway. I found his effort endearing. Now every time I go on a date I wonder how long it took him to choose his outfit.” —Vivian, 25

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8. “Honestly, I liked living with a guy better than I liked living with a girl. He never had any bitchy mood swings, and he always had a condom if I ever needed one.” —Kimberley, 26

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9. “They don’t like the sight of tampons. I used to leave the box out on the shelf, and he’d always ask me to put it in the cabinet below the sink, and I mean the ones that are wrapped up and not yet used. It wasn’t like I was leaving bloody tampons in the toilet, the packaging alone freaked him out. I offered to take one out and show him how they work to make him more comfortable, but I think that made it even worse.” —Chelsea, 24

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10. “They think the entire apartment is their laundry basket. I’m sorry, I didn’t ask your dirty socks to sit on the couch and watch Scandal with me, that’s what a hamper is for.” —Karen, 23

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11. “Living with a guy was a total cock block. Every time I’d bring someone home they’d question whether or not we hook up. Yes, I live with a single male, no, we do not hook up, and yes, we are JUST FRIENDS.” —Ali, 25

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12. “When I lived with a man I learned two things about him, one, he was more sensitive than I gave him credit for, and two he exaggerated hookup stories to his friends. I heard how long you lasted, and it wasn’t 35 minutes.” —Cara, 24

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13. “The man I lived with talked to his mom more frequently than I did, and I’m pretty close with my mom.” —Nichole, 24

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14. “I walked in on him masturbating multiple times. Never understood why he didn’t think to lock the door.” —Remy, 24

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15. “They’re more into style than we think. I think women like to think that men just throw a t-shirt on and are out the door, but after living with a man, I’ve discovered sometimes his getting ready takes longer than mine. Maybe not for all men, but the man I lived with definitely cared about the way he looked, and whether or not the wash of his denim matched the color of his button down.” —Whitney, 25

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16. “They love boys’ night just as much as we love girls’ night. Each day he knew the boys were coming over for football or poker, or whatever they were doing, he was in the best mood ever.” —Alexa, 24 TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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