11 Men Talk About How Their Breakup Affected Them (When They Were The One Leaving)

1. “She cheated on me, but she wanted to stay together, figures. She was definitely the best looking girl I’ve ever been with (figures again), but I couldn’t stay. I have far too much self-respect for that. It did hurt a lot though. Like I’d rather be kicked really hard in the balls than be cheated on. And I don’t think I have terrible trust issues now, but every time I date a girl it’s in the back of my mind.” —Anthony, 27

2. “To be honest, I didn’t feel that bad. I mean when I think about it now, sure she was probably really sad, but I was way too excited to be single. I was more thinking about who I’d hook up with next than her hurt feelings.” —Ricky, 25

3. “I was with her for all 4 years of college, and it was a tough 4 years, trust me, so when we were both out of school we basically thought that would be it. Like if we lasted through that we could last through anything. And I think we both felt as though we had to be together just because we fought so hard for our relationship before. But then there was nothing to fight for, we were with each other with no challenges whatsoever, and I think we both didn’t know how to be together without there being a constant struggle, so I ended it. She never would’ve done it herself, but I did us both a favor. It affected me because I constantly question what would’ve happened if we ended it sooner. I turned down plenty of nice girls when I was with her, because I thought I’d be with her for a long time. So yeah basically just a lot of questioning.” —Eddie, 23

4. “Of course I felt terrible about it, but I knew what I was doing was for her own good. If I would’ve dragged it on, she would’ve just continued to fall for me even harder. She was pissed when I did it, but I know down the line she’ll realize what I did was right.” —Dan, 27

5. “I only broke up with her because we fought non-stop and I couldn’t take it anymore. We don’t talk at all, she told me not to reach out, which is understandable, but I can’t lie, I’d love to sleep with her again. I wish she’d be okay with just hooking up, but you know girls, all those feelings and emotions.” —Jon, 23

6. “A part of me wonders if I’m still in love with her. I know I was the one who broke up with her, but I really haven’t met anyone that made me feel as happy as she did. I can’t be that idiot who comes running back though.” —Mike, 24

7. “I ended it because I felt like we were better as friends. Of course once I ended it we were far from friends, and that’s the part that upset me. I told her I still wanted to talk to her everyday, and still wanted to spend time with her, but she didn’t want that, and in that way it felt like she was the one breaking up with me. She was refuting me from something I wanted, which was her friendship, but I was doing the same thing to her in ending the relationship. It sucked. Breakups suck. I definitely think about her more only because she won’t let me talk to her, which also sucks. The whole thing…sucks.” —Elliot, 25

8. “I had a lot of rebound sex after breaking up with her. It was great. All that sexual energy that was constricted when I was with her was released when it was over, and it felt amazing. The freedom I guess is what felt amazing. I wasn’t really thinking about her, I was thinking about me and what I wanted.” —Chris, 24

9. “We had a good relationship, but I always felt like something just wasn’t there. In the beginning I had to convince her to even give me a chance, and then when we actually started dating she really started to like me, and it became clear that she was way more into me than I was her. I think that freaked me out a bit. After I broke up with her I felt relieved because I didn’t have to wonder whether or not she was right for me. When it was done I knew she wasn’t.” —Sean, 25

10. “I literally hate myself everyday for it. She was perfect, and I was dumb. I wanted to have sex with other girls, and that was why I dumped her. So I did, and then after I had sex with a bunch of random girls I was like, ‘Okay, now what?’ I wanted her back because with her it was more than sex, but by the time I would’ve went crawling back to her, she was already dating someone else. They’re engaged now, and I’m that dumbass who let her go. I’m not invited to the wedding either, shocking, I know.” —Louis, 29

11. “I think breakups are a finite thing. You can’t wonder what would’ve happened if you stayed, you just have to move on. You make a decision about this person, and that’s it, it’s done. Life goes on.” —Mark, 28