1. Love Drunk
Beyoncé was clearly onto something. This is the type of drunk when you literally love everything, and feel the need to exclaim it with every drink that follows. You love your friends, you love this song, you love this bar, you love this boy you met on the dance floor two minutes ago. Oops you let that one slip. You don’t really love him.
2. I Hate My Ex Drunk
Sometimes we drown our sorrows in alcohol, but in this case your giving your anger a flotation device. You just went through a breakup that was somewhere on the scale from mediocre to catastrophe, and you currently hate your ex because of it. Every drink unveils one more thing you hate about them. It’s a night of venting. Air it all out.
3. Rebound Drunk
Similar to I Hate My Ex Drunk, Rebound Drunk is an attempt to let go and prove your still desirable. Whether you’re proving it to yourself or your ex, you just need to converse (and possibly a lot more) with someone who is not them. You probably had this goal in mind before you got drunk, and as your tab is piling up, you become that much more determined to accomplish it.
4. Horny Drunk
Your drink may as well be lady Viagra because that glass of Pinot Grigio just made you instantly horny. This is the type of drunk when you are either on the prowl for potential prospects or you’re already texting the guaranteed deal. When you’re Horny Drunk you’re basically a different person who is a little more desperate and a little less embarrassed about it.
5. I Hate Love Drunk
This is pretty self explanatory. This type of drunk is when you can’t bear to see any public display of affection, and couples in love make you want to vomit. You’re currently sour towards the thought of love for various potential reasons, and while you sip on your vodka cranberry you’d rather not be reminded of it. You’re like the Scrooge of going out, anyone who tries to hit on you or even looks at you, you scowl at or roll your eyes.
6. Rebellious Drunk
You may as well be wearing a black leather jacket and pull up to the bar on a motorcycle. This is the type of drunk you get when someone or something is attempting to control you, and you don’t have time to be tamed. The more this person or thing tells you what to do, the more you want to do the exact opposite. You’re feeling reckless and you’re going to allow your sense of adventure to lead the way. This is when you do things you’ll laugh at the next morning, but might regret later on in the day.
7. Lost Drunk
Some might interpret the Lost Drunk quite literally, as in you get drunk, lost, and wake up asking, “Where the hell am I?” but this type of Lost Drunk is meant to be interpreted more poetically. You’re at a point in your life where you don’t have direction. You don’t know exactly what you want, and you don’t know exactly where you want to be, whether it’s with your career, your love life, or having to move back into your parents’ home. When you get drunk while you’re feeling lost, you will either have a drunken epiphany that you won’t remember in the morning, or you’ll end up feeling more lost than before. The Lost Drunk is simply that, lost.
8. Just Want To Get F*cked Up Drunk
You don’t necessarily need a reason why. It’s like a weird craving, but instead of peanut butter and potato chips, you want to chug a beer from a funnel and do a keg stand. Even if your college days are long gone, you still have nights (or days) when you just want to get fucked up.
9. Girls’ Night Drunk
Nothing beats a night getting drunk with your best friends. You could be staying in applying face masks while sipping on Chardonnay, or you could be wearing your skimpiest dresses dancing in a packed club only with each other. The Girls’ Night Drunk is one of a kind. There are no substitutes.