The amount of energy and effort it takes to date today, makes a girl realize maybe her single lifestyle isn’t so bad. Dating is exhausting, being single isn’t.
1. Every first date you ask the same questions.
Am I having déjà vu, or have I asked these questions far too many times? Where are you from? Where’d you go to school? Do you have any siblings? Is there a fast forward button anywhere? Why can’t my life be like Adam Sandler’s in Click?
2. It takes way too many dates until you feel truly comfortable.
Is the third date too soon to let him hear my insanely awkward laugh? How long until I can burp in front of him [accidentally…?] My guess is way longer than I’m willing to hide any of my absurdly embarrassing behaviors.
3. You’re constantly trying to say the right things.
The key is to be yourself, everyone knows that. Easier said than done. Just remember, there’s not necessarily a right or wrong thing to say, there’s just what comes out of your mouth, and the way he chooses to respond.
4. Picking out what to wear is far too long of a thought process.
Is this skirt too short? Oh god, he will never look at my eyes in this top. Wow, for a closet full of clothes I have absolutely nothing to wear.
5. You have to do something with your hair.
I’m just going to wear my hair natural, beachy waves are in now, right? You can almost hear your frizzy curls answer back to you…Ugh, where is my straightener?
6. Your shoe choice is always wrong.
The night you decide to rock 6 inch pumps you’re set up with the guy who is 2 inches shorter than you… in flats. Either that, or he takes you mini golfing and your feet look like they’ve been through WWIII by the end of the night.
7. You never know what to drink.
If I order tequila will he think I’m nuts? Damn, this dress is way too tight for beer. Whiskey says I can hang with the boys, “I’ll have a Jack and coke.” *Sip* Ew I hate whiskey.
8. You never know what to eat.
Salad is the healthy option, but eating lettuce gracefully is like completing The American Ninja Warrior Challenge. Mmm that burger sounds good, but I’ll probably have some type of condiment smeared on my face, and he’ll be too nice to point it out. Do fries count as dinner?
9. You try to prepare answers ahead of time.
You know exactly what he’s going to ask you, and you try to think about your answers before he does. Favorite movie, that’s entirely way too difficult. Favorite book, that’s even more difficult. Not even preparing ahead of time will save you.
10. You don’t know what to talk about when you’re done asking questions.
11. You forget half the things he tells you if you’re really attracted to him.
While he’s telling you about his job all you can think about is how cute his smile is. OMG is that a dimple?! He’s adorable. “Oh, so what were you saying about sales?”
12. You hate talking about yourself this much.
Your date obviously wants to get to know you, but even you are tired of hearing your life story. “Enough about me, tell me about yourself.” He probably feels the same exact way. Now what?
13. Saying goodbye is usually awkward.
Is he going to try to kiss me? Is it weird to shake his hand? Oh, phew, he’s going for a hug. Wait, is this just a hug? Is he turning his head? This. Is. So. Awkward.