He is your ex for a reason, and for that reason or any other, you two are not compatible, at least not at this point in time. This means you can’t get mad when he begins to start dating someone else. Yes, that may be hard, but be mad on the inside. Allow yourself a moment or two alone for some loud screams, maybe some throwing of objects that won’t break, but if your ex starts dating someone else, you have no right to be openly mad about it. Here is what not to do when your ex starts dating someone else.
1. Facebook stalk
Just because you’re friends with her on Facebook does not mean you should stalk her like your life depends on it. In fact, if you are already friends with your ex’s new girlfriend on Facebook, you should de-friend her or adjust your settings so she doesn’t continuously pop up on your news feed.
You want to try and forget about your ex, and you don’t need to be constantly reminded that he is dating someone else when pictures of the two of them show up with lovey dovey captions like “Love him,” or “My boo.” Yuck. Do yourself and your sanity a favor and unfollow your ex and his girlfriend on any social media channel. On the other hand, if you are not already friends with your ex’s new fling, absolutely do not friend her!
Sure, friending her will allow you to see where she works, what she does with her free time, and all of her embarrassing pictures, but you don’t, and shouldn’t, need to know anything about this girl let alone intimate details about her life. Let it be and move on, with your ex’s girlfriend out of the picture.
2. Compare and contrast
No, not like the essays you used to write in high school. Comparing yourself to your ex’s new girlfriend is like a death sentence, and convincing yourself how much better you are than her is not exactly healthy either. No matter how much better or worse you are than her, it doesn’t change the fact that she is currently dating a guy you used to care about (keyword: USED TO).
It doesn’t matter who has bigger boobs or a smaller waist, the one thing that is making you obsess over her is your ex, so don’t give him that satisfaction and forget about her! The last thing you want is for your ex to think you are completely devastated from your break up. You want him to think your life is better than ever!
When someone asks you, “How’s Jerry?” you should say, “Jerry who?” And when someone asks if you’ve heard about his new girlfriend you should shrug it off. Why would you want to be like your ex’s new girl when being you is so much more fun? You are who you are, and unlike your ex, you will find someone who can appreciate that.
3. Reach out
If you are looking for a time to reach out to your ex, as soon as he starts dating someone else is most definitely not that time. However selfish it may sound, the only time you should reach out to your ex is when your life could not be better.
Did you just get a new promotion at work? Just ran a marathon? Whatever it is that has you beaming like a light bulb, you have every right to let your ex know about it, but calling him after you’ve just discovered he has a new object of love in his life, won’t shed any light on either of you. Reach out to your ex when you want to know what’s going on in his life, and want to reveal what’s going on in yours, and when he has a new girlfriend that’s probably not the case.