3 Common Things Women Do That Only Attract The Wrong Men

Why do we have to pretend to be something we’re not just to make a guy like us?

Updated 10 years ago, July 7, 2014

1. We change our interests according to their interests. Why? To make men happy and make them like us!

Thought process: Oh, so he’s a Dave Matthews fan… “I LOVE DAVE MATTHEWS!” Truth be told you can’t name more than two of their songs, but if he likes them you like them. Why? We think that to keep a man happy we have to like the same things he likes. To all women, the secret is not necessarily how to make a man happy, but how to make the right man happy.

Why do we have to pretend to be something we’re not just to make a guy like us? We don’t! A guy should appreciate you for who you are and the interests that you ACTUALLY HAVE, regardless of whether or not he shares them too. If he only likes you because of your said interest for Dave Matthews then he isn’t the right guy for you and you should stop trying to form your interests around his.

The right guy will like you for your similarities AND YOUR DIFFERENCES. What matters is that you both can recognize what is important to one another and be accepting of it, not necessarily that it is important to both of you. “Oh you like Dave Matthews? I know a couple of their songs, but I’m more of a One Republic type girl.” Chances are he will admire that you’re not afraid to disagree with him.

2. We wear what we think a man would like us to wear.

Don’t wear what a man thinks would look hot. Wear what makes YOU feel hot. If you feel hot you will look hot. A man may not notice the sequins on your halter top, but one thing he will notice you are wearing is confidence.

There are different types of clothing women can wear to get a man’s attention, and there are different types of attention that each piece of clothing will get. All women have different opinions about clothing. Some women think that the less they wear the more men will notice them. That might be true, but it all depends on what type of guy you’re trying to attract, and the type of night you’re trying to have.

Everybody’s different, and different people will give you advice on what is okay to wear and what isn’t. “If you’re going to show some leg, then don’t show any cleavage.” Bottom line, if you want a one -night stand, then go for it! Show some legs and some cleavage. If you can admit that you’re not looking for a husband that night, then you should wear whatever your heart desires!

3. We play hard to get even when we don’t want to be hard to get.

You see a guy across the bar. He catches your attention. You each exchange a couple of enticing looks that clearly speak the words, “Hey you’re cute. Come talk to me.” So he takes that leap of faith and makes his way across the bar to say hello, which could end in either rejection or some good conversation, depending on which of many pick up lines he chooses to use on you. And no matter how cute you think he is or how bad you want to just take him home and rip his clothes off, you still “play it cool” with a standoffish vibe that says, “I find you interesting, but not that interesting.”

Why do we do this? To keep THEM interested. Truth is, if he is interested in you he probably has similar worries and just wants you to validate your interest in return. This doesn’t mean he wants you to be easy and go home with him when he snaps his fingers, but he most likely doesn’t want you to be standoffish and pretend not to like him, because then he will think that you truly don’t like him. Try to avoid the games. Games just disguise everyone’s feelings. They mask what you really want to say and what you really want to do. If you are interested in a guy there is nothing wrong with expressing it. Just do it in a non-obsessive way.