Thank You For Being The Man Of My Dreams

I was convinced something was wrong, and that I had to break up with you.

By

Thank you for making me believe how beautiful I am, how kind I can be, and how intelligent I have become. Thank you for showing me how there are always two sides to a story. Thank you for never losing sight of who I truly was; for every argument, misunderstanding, and struggle, you never stopped believing in me. Your love for me is truly something I did not see coming, you met me when a relationship was the last thing on my mind, when I was at my last straw with my love life, and when I thought I was going to be alone for a very long time.

Before you came along, I didn’t think anyone could ever love all of me. I chose not to believe in the kind of love you give me every day. I chose not to see the reward in the risks involved of becoming vulnerable, the happiness after going through the sorrow and pain, and the possible idea of acceptance through the gradual exposure of my weaknesses.

In the beginning, I was very in denial of your existence in my life. We were together, yes. But I wasn’t able to comprehend the starting line of our relationship as past traumas were always getting in the way. Every time you told me you loved me, it felt as if your voice was masked as the other men who told me similar things but did not mean it. Every time I would stare back at you across the dining table at the restaurant, it felt as if you would only stare back at me with no sincerity or love as the others did. I was convinced something was wrong, and that I had to break up with you.

But it was you who always knew the right words to say. It was you who knew how to take care of me when I needed it the most. It was you who could bring a smile to my face after every bad day. So I told you what was going on with me. I told you all the insecurities I had, the doubts that kept telling me to break off our relationship; I told you how I really felt about you.

I don’t tell you this enough, but thank you for entering my life when I needed you the most. You are the absolute light of my life. You are one of the strongest men I know and the most loving being on this planet. Thank you for showing how friendship strengthens a relationship. How having each other’s back is more romantic than buying each other material things. Thank you for always making me laugh to the top of my lungs, for “letting me” pull pranks on you any time I can, and for being a shoulder to cry on whenever I feel like I can’t take it anymore.

You are the boy who’s definitely proved me wrong. I remember telling myself one night before I was with you. How I literally thought no one would ever love me, I was hard to handle and I wasn’t stick thin at all. Following that night, I just remember leading my life with such a pessimistic view. I remember dodging every compliment directed at me like it meant nothing, not looking in the mirror and appreciating all of the parts of my body, and letting my loneliness consume me to the point of my occasional anxiety attacks.

You are a literal miracle to me. You have not only taught me to become aware of my weaknesses but to also embrace it. Thank you for letting me vent about all the rough days I have at work, for letting me eat off your plate even if you were more hungrier than I was, and for loving me to the best of your abilities.

Thank you for being the man of my dreams.