You’ve spent significant time working on yourself, and have finally arrived at a place where you feel ready—ready to open your heart to a healthy and thriving relationship.
Maybe you’ve experienced a few dates, but none have manifested into anything longstanding. There are times that you wonder if you’ve missed the chance to share life with someone special. You may have even made peace with the idea that a relationship is just not in the cards for you.
If you find yourself sometimes wondering if you’ll ever find meaningful love again, be gentle on yourself. Instead of focusing on the lack of a significant other, perhaps consider the time you’ve been given to intentionally cultivate an authentic sense of peace and joy that radiates from within.
Here are 10 ways:
1. Embrace uncertainty.
Allow yourself to explore a new way of thinking. You never know what new experiences may be waiting for you. To help shift your mindset, think of another time that something unexpected changed your life for the better. This is proof that you have the opportunity to design a future you have yet to meet.
2. Be present.
Sip your cup of coffee, noticing the texture and taste. Revel in the sunshine as you take a walk around the block. Share belly laughs with your best friend on a Zoom call. Each moment is offering you a gift; it’s with acceptance you’ll find your heart will expand.
3. Shift your perception.
As you have more time to reflect, you may find yourself focusing on your past relationship mishaps or failures. Reflection is a powerful tool for growth. Instead of thinking “What was I doing?” shift to consider “What was I learning?” Every situation can teach us something about our ourselves: our patterns and areas worthy of exploring. Within this space, you give yourself valuable nuggets of wisdom that were cultivated just for you—consider it a personalized growth assessment.
4. Focus on healing.
Get professional help. Face Time one of your closest confidants. Dive into a great a book or podcast. Take the necessary steps to heal those areas you still have yet to. When you focus on healing, every aspect of your life improves including positioning yourself to invite a healthy, loving relationship into your life.
5. Honor who you are.
There is only one you. Your smile, your touch, the sparkle in your eye. All of the nuances of your personality come together to in a beautiful creation of God. Give yourself a big, loving squeeze. Every part of your personality, quirks and all, will be exactly what your perfect-for-you person is looking for.
6. Cultivate your joy points.
What are the little things that bring you joy? Cooking a comfort meal? Dancing in the shower? Simple acts of kindness? Find your joy points and sprinkle them throughout your days and nights. Be open to trying something new. The best part is that you can never overdose on joy—there can never be too many joy points, and they are all curated by YOU.
7. Lose the need to justify—to yourself or anyone else.
As you begin to reflect and heal you’ll be trying new things, and trying on new ways of being. You don’t need to justify anything to anyone else or convince yourself that your new morning ritual is useless. Keep moving. Keep growing. As you outgrow things, others will rise up to replace them.
8. Strengthen your spiritual practice.
A spiritual practice is a way to nurture your spiritual life. Some common practices are prayer, mediation, walks in nature, art, service, or a gratitude journal. A spiritual practice is a personal one, and is often an essential component of opening up yourself fully to all life has to offer.
Intentionally get rid of anything that does not add to your life. This means clutter, negative energy and broken dreams. Most importantly, release the idea that someone else will complete you. Love is who you are and it surrounds you. You have the freedom to enjoy what’s in front of you without concern of the future. Simplicity often brings undeniable peace.
10. Share joy.
When you radiate joy, more joy comes to you. You may not always feel joyful, especially right now, but it is something that you can practice. By leaning into your inner work, you can more readily share joy with others. Your life will not only change in the moment, but it will set the stage for what’s to come.
In the waiting, each day may present something new. It’s important to take it easy on yourself. If and when you are open to it, you have the ability to create new possibilities for your life. You deserve it. After all, you are that special someone you’ve been waiting for all along.