You’re thinking of going back. Second guessing the decision to return to where you’ve been before—for comfort, for nostalgia, for boredom—or merely because what you’re currently going through is tough. You found that the grass wasn’t actually greener. It’s a whole different shade altogether.
As alluring as it is to go back—you mustn’t. Although the past may beckon for your return, now is not the time to turn back. In fact, it may never be.
It’s time to put one foot in front of the other, letting go of your grasp of what could’ve been.
It’s time to put all of your energy into the bountiful present. Hopefully and intently looking toward the beautiful mystery of what is to come.
Here are seven reasons to get on with it, moving toward what will be, never looking back:
1. Time has passed. And it waits for no one. Time is the most precious gift we have, and it matters what we do with it. We will never know how much of it we have, so every moment should be focused on building the reality we seek. Yes, we make amends for past behavior, but in the present, we release our misfires with intention and grace.
2. You were supposed to go through that. All of your life experiences have culminated in this very moment. Both the things that you had no control over, and every choice you have made thus far. The summation of it all colors the distinct individual you are, with lessons and gifts to share with the world. All of it is working together.
3. There are lessons here and now. It is essential for you to be aware of your patterns, and for this looking to the past to examine where your difficulties lie can help. But you must not put down your bags there—it’s not a place to stay. Instead, focus on what is in front of you today and what is it teaching you. Do you need to let go of resentment? Confront your people-pleasing tendencies? Pursue a passion? Look around you. What is here to assist you?
4. Stop repeating old patterns. Speaking of patterns, there’s an insanity notion—there is nothing healing from doing the same things over and over, never to tap into the potential that resides within you. Your beauty awaits and transformation can only occur when you’ve broken free from the bondage that once held you back. And note, not everyone is going to come with you. In fact, we must leave some behind.
5. Memories are a mirage. Have you ever gone back to a relationship or situation only to regret doing so? We tend to look at the past through rose-colored glasses, romanticizing experiences and embellishing them. Yes, some memories are priceless and we will carry them in our hearts forever. Keep those as the precious keepsakes that they are.
But there is a time for everything, which means a time to release. Once you accept that the past isn’t always what it seems, and there is a reason you moved on, you can be sure that those same reasons are still there. A warrior must go on.
6. Your future is waiting. Endings are an invitation for new beginnings. A future in its full expression will not reveal itself until you have the full capacity to embrace it wholeheartedly. As difficult as change is, remaining the same is stifling and can lead to stagnation. To bloom is to fully embrace what is to come.
7. Having no regrets is good for the soul and badass. For everything you have done— the good, the not-so-good and everything in between, know that you did what you could. We are all human after all—complex creatures with emotions, traumas and desires. It is bound to get complicated. Own it. Own every messy detail and come out standing a little taller. There is something quite badass about a person that lives unapologetically, striving to be the most authentic expression of themselves while morphing into their glorious potential.
In the words of one of my own teachers along the way, “Keep moving. Never circle. Change when you can.”