Chances are, you probably know a runner. You might even live with one. And as someone who lives with someone who lives with a runner, I feel for you. I really do.
Because as a runner, I know better than anyone all of the weird and annoying crap that we do.
I’m not going to justify all of the stuff that runners do to bug the hell out of non-runners. Because most of it isn’t justifiable and you’d have better luck asking John Boehner to host Obama’s birthday party than asking us to change.
This point I’m trying to get at is that we know how annoying we are… we probably are just too busy foam-rolling to care. That being said, here is a list of the weird and annoying crap that runners do.
1. Talk about running. All. The. Time.
2. Talk about how great running is.
3. Talk about how much running sucks.
4. Flood your social media feed with pictures of our running watches.
5. Or our shoes. (Because we’re the only ones who have those.)
6. Bring our running shoes on vacation.
7. Try bullying our family/friends/significant others into running with us on vacation.
8. Sulk when they don’t.
9. Generate a steady flow of wet, sweaty clothes that somehow always find their way under non-runners’ feet.
10. Pick the dead skin off our feet.
11. Pick the black toenails off our toes.
12. Feel the need to share these events with others.
13. Say things like “an easy 10 miler.” It’s a lie; 10 miles is never easy.
14. Worry about how much fiber is in our pre-race meals.
15. Tell you why we worry about how much fiber is in our pre-race meals.
16. Say things like, “I have to leave early; I’ve got a long run in the morning.”
17. Or, “I’m not drinking; I’ve got a long run in the morning.”
18. Or, if we’re being totally honest, adding any clause in front of “I’ve got a long run in the morning” just to let you know that we have a long run in the morning.
(“I’ll have the BLT; I’ve got a long run in the morning.”)
19. Agonize over our socks purchases.
20. Wear weird things like compression sleeves and hydration belts while we run.
21. Wear hardly anything at all while we run.
And last but not least…
22. Assume that everyone is as obsessed with running as we are.
This is by no means a complete list of our annoying habits, but now I’m even beginning to annoy myself. If you’re dying for more though, you can just ask anyone who’s ever been woken up at 5 AM by a runner’s alarm clock to tell you.
But like I said, we’re not going to change — we’ve got a long run in the morning.