This Is Why Men Should Not Be Intimidated By Attractive Women

Quentin Simon
Quentin Simon

Producer’s note: Someone on Quora asked: How can I stop feeling inferior when I’m around a woman that’s more attractive? Here is one of the best answers that’s been pulled from the thread.


Here’s the really interesting thing about super attractive women: They are human too.

Have you ever seen a really pretty girl lose her shit?

Have you ever seen a gorgeous girl hit the wall?

Have you ever seen a girl who acted like she had it all together and was better than the world and nobody could touch her, fall flat on her face?

I don’t say that to sound mean, I’m just being honest. When you see people who appear “perfect” suddenly reveal their deepest vulnerabilities, you realize how much of the world tries (and often succeeds) in presenting a more confident version of themselves than the Self that actually exists.

Which makes sense, right? We all want to be liked. We all want, especially those of us in our 20s, to seem like we have our lives figured out (we don’t) and that we know where we are going (we don’t) and that everything is fine (it probably isn’t). We all want to be liked. We all want to be respected, and at the same time, we are all afraid, on some level, of truly being “seen.”

Have you ever been to a club? I mean a real club. Let’s take Underground, here in Chicago, for example. Probably the hottest club in the city. Guys don’t get in unless they know someone, or spend a shit ton of money, or bring 8 hot girls to help fill the place. When you walk downstairs (it’s underground, hence the name), there are two huge rooms filled with tables, lights are off, laser lights spraying around, girls walking around with sparklers in bottles of Dom, other girls dancing on tables with their friends.

Everybody looks the same. All the girls have tight dresses and high heels, their hair perfect, their eyes outlined in black eyeliner. They all want attention but act like they don’t, pretend like you’re not there, etc. They all want to be seen “out” but the truth is none or them (or the vast majority) don’t actually want to be “seen.”

It’s all surface level bullshit.

If I want to talk to a girl in that sort of environment, or if I want to just approach what society calls “a pretty girl” in general, do you know what I think about? I think about what that girl would look like if she lost her shit. If her whole world fell apart, what sort of person would she be then? Do you really think she’d still walk around like a princess with her lips pouted? Do you really think she would eye the sky like she was the most important person in the face of this planet? Do you really think she would still be all that she appears to be?

No. She wouldn’t.

She’s human. And that’s what makes her relatable to you. And that’s why you shouldn’t be so intimidated. At the core, you’re both the same. Life is going to take you to wonderful places, and it’s also going to throw you on your face. Relate on that level, and go talk to her.

And I just want to state for the record, I don’t find girls that frequent clubs to be “the most attractive.” I’ve met some beautiful ones. And I know everyone, on some level, is good.

But the girl who intimidates you with her aura and positive energy is far more attractive than the one in the skin-tight dress with pouty lips. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This answer originally appeared at Quora: The best answer to any question. Ask a question, get a great answer. Learn from experts and get insider knowledge.

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