The 6 Stages Of Forgiveness

When a person hurts you deeply, you feel the anger and frustration build up inside of your heart. You are mad at them and mad at yourself, because you couldn’t anticipate the situation. You would rather avoid the shock. Unfortunately, it is there, like a splash of red paint on a blank canvas. Your heart bleeds. Your thoughts are all over the place, and you keep replaying the scenes like a broken DVD.

You do not comprehend the reason why this happened. They say that people who know you best will hurt you the most, and it’s true. Your heart is aching, and the trust is gone. You start questioning everyone around you. Then you come up with a radical solution: to isolate yourself. Yet you just feel the pain even more intensely, torture yourself and think they were right — you are worthless, you deserve this abuse. You will end up drowning in your darkest thoughts.

Instead, how about you let the pain spread through your entire body and mind? Take the time you need to process what happened, and then forgive them.

How, you may ask? Well, I’ve been through a similar situation before and believe me, I was mad about it. Nevertheless, everything is possible if you put your mind to it.

You just have to let yourself go through the process of the 6 Stages of Forgiveness.

1. You are angry and lonely (and you cry a lot).

You delete the person from your phone (yes, from your contacts and on all social media). You never want to speak to them again. Fair enough.

2. After a lot of thinking, you found the reason why this all happened.

Write down everything you feel in a letter you’re not sure yet you will send them. Just do it, it will liberate you.

3. You start to feel more peaceful.

This is all thanks to step 2. Take it one day at a time.

4. Your brain begins to focus on yourself again, rather than others.

Literally everyone else is not important. you just think about you, your wellbeing, and your mental state. You cannot be bothered anymore by negative energies!

5. You realize that what happened had nothing to do with you. 

Rather, it was a reflection of their own problems and their true self. So you finally feel more worthy, independent, fearless and stronger. You promise yourself you will never let anybody decide your actions for you or let yourself be manipulated ever again.

6. You decide to forgive and you move on slowly.

At the end of the day, it is not about how they feel or how badly they treated you. It is about how you want to treat yourself and what mindset you choose to remain in.

Do you want to be in a negative poisonous state of mind? Or are you willing to put in the effort and sacrifice to maintain an uplifted new mindset? Do you want to keep coming across these kind of people who are full of lies who give you fake illusions, or do you want to start living your life for yourself and be free?

Tell me, are you ready to open your eyes and see how breathtaking your life can be? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Nicola Brooks

” have courage and be kind”