1. You start to get that crack addict eye twitch from staring too much.
2. You’ve drank so much coffee that you think your body is 80% caffeine, 10% sleep deprivation and 10% prayers for death.
3. You keep putting off necessary things like eating or oxygen until you just finish 500 more words of this paper.
4. You’ve been in the library so much that people think you work there. No, you just dress like a librarian and have no life.
5. You can’t remember the last time you showered. You know that you had to — statistically speaking. You just can’t remember it.
6. You start to nod off for just a second during your study group, hoping that no one notices.
7. You’ve looked at the same pages of notes for so long that the words all blur together or start to look as if they were written in a different language. English itself begins to lose all meaning.
8. When you do sleep, you have nightmares about taking tests. You have dreams that you’ve failed all your assignments or show up to class late and naked.
9. The only friends you see anymore are the ones in your classes.
10. You don’t wear anything but pyjamas, because there doesn’t seem to be a point in changing.
11. You have accumulated so many flashcards that they take over your desk, like a wall of knowledge you won’t retain in ten years. You can feel all the facts slipping away already.
12. You don’t have any clean mugs left and even the ones that have technically been washed still look stained with the enormous amounts of coffee that have been inside them.
13. You haven’t had time to go to the grocery store and as you eat the very questionable remaining items in your fridge, your life begins to resemble The Grapes of Wrath, but with way more Ramen Noodles and less homeless breast feeding.
14. When you’re roommate or dorm mate comes home, the first thing they comment on is the fact that you’re in the exact same place as when you left. You’re like that dog in Scrubs. You never move.
15. You’re on Facebook every five minutes, not to do anything in particular, just to stare mindlessly.
16. You think you have carpal tunnel, or maybe your hand has just given up on life. Either way, you’re starting to feel numb. Is this what a heart attack is?
17. Your room looks like a disaster relief effort.
18. You’ve replaced human contact with Adderall.
19. You have so many overdue library books that you don’t even want to take them back because it sounds too annoying, so you just let the fines rack up, even though you’re there all the time.
20. Strange things begin to excite you, like a really beautiful essay font or the perfect source citation.
21. You start to get Studying Hypnosis, finding yourself zoning out for minutes at a time as you mindlessly read the same paragraph again, hoping it will stick this time.
22. You have more colors of highlighters than you do dating prospects.
23. All your jokes and references get very esoteric and no one knows what you’re talking about in conversation anymore.
24. If people were to take shots every time you said the phrase “I have so much homework,” everyone around you would be constantly shitfaced.
25. Your friends keep commenting that they don’t know how you do it — or you haven’t died yet. You don’t know either. Ask Jesus.
26. You find yourself passing out in your assigned reading.
27. Your Inbox is completely full with unread messages because you just haven’t had the time to get to normal things, and you know you’ll get to them — sometime before graduation. When is that again?