2. Beauty and the Beast
In romance, you have two options. You can date a possibly closeted chauvinistic pig who would rather have your father locked up for insanity than see you with another man or an emotionally distant werewolf-like creature with trust issues. Marriage isn’t a marriage of equals but Stockholm Syndrome as you learn to stop worrying and love your captivity. It’s a love story for the age of Patty Hearst.
Also, is it just me, or is Beauty/Beast Disney’s version of the hot girl/schlubby husband trope on TV? Tale as old as time, indeed.
Takeaway: This movie is solidly Team Jacob.