Apathy. It’s draining to have to be the only one to care — and boring as well.
Not being able to take a joke. I know one girl who’s very attractive, and if you make a mistake, she’ll laugh at you for way longer than she should. If she messes up, you can’t laugh or it’s game over, I’m leaving — fuck you.
Being actually racist. Jokes are just jokes. Using expletives against black people on Judge Judy like the rest of my family does is racism.
The number one thing I learned I do not like through trial and error (aka dating) is emotional manipulation, especially through withholding emotional availability and love.
I had a boyfriend a long time ago who would give me just enough positive attention to keep me around then make sure I knew I wasn’t really good enough to be loved.
Still hurts a little even though it was so long ago! At least I learned my lesson there and was able to take that awareness and find a happy and healthy relationship.
Passiveness. I understand angrily yelling at me about how terrible I am and why. But just quietly acting like I don’t exist anymore I just can’t deal with. I don’t know why you’re doing it, if you want me to fix something or apologize I have no idea how, and it solves nothing.
If they say “like” in every sentence.
When they treat people like waitresses, supermarket employees, etc. badly simply because they think they’re inferior.
Poor hygiene, especially in teeth.
Ignorance and hypocrisy. One of my high school acquaintances on Facebook continually posts Republican polemic garbage about cutting welfare and abortion rights all while living off the system herself. Claims that homosexuals can’t have whole families yet she’s divorced with a kid. I could go on. I really should defriend her.
Unibrow. Pluck that thing.
Incessant whining. Please don’t whine and complain about your looks. Either do something to improve or accept what you’ve got.
When people say “That’s funny” or “LOL” instead of actually laughing. What’s with that?
Terrible grammar. I am way too old to find shitty text messages ‘cute.’ Sure, I can read it, but when the moment arises that I must ponder “can this girl spell ‘you,’ and does she know the difference between ‘for’ and ‘4’?” I must bow out.
Saying “Where was you?” is also a huge red flag.
Pretentious guys are the worst.
When they constantly want to be the center of attention.
Picking your nose and eating it.
I don’t mind picking your nose! Everyone does it! But don’t put that shit in your mouth, because I will not kiss you afterwards.
I once saw my ex-boyfriend do it. I simply stared from a distance and quietly weeped.
Men who spit in public.
Talking to women condescendingly.
Possessiveness. I dumped my last boyfriend because he would stalk me, even when I had told him my entire day right down to what kind of chips I had with lunch.
He even got mad after I told him that the cable guy saw a picture of my family and told my mom “you have a beautiful family.” I wasn’t even home!
Having no discernible personality.
When a man sticks his hand down his boxers and then sniffs the scrotumy goodness from his fingers. Oh and especially when he knows it freaks you out and then proceeds to jump on top of you and stick his scrotumy fingers in your face because he finds it funny. The sweatier the better!
A sense of entitlement.
Unable to hold a conversation. It shouldn’t be just me doing all the talking.
Even if she’s the most attractive person in the world, if she doesn’t have a thoughtful, open mind to match, I can’t get it up.
image – 30 Rock/Amazon