This post articulates a theory I’ve long held: That if real life were Mean Girls, Taylor Swift would be Regina George. Sure, she always plays the “nice girl” (the Cady in the situation), but you’ve always suspected it’s true. Deep in your heart, you don’t picture Regina asking Cady if butter is a carb. It’s Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is a regulation Mean Girl. When she threw shade at Tina Fey (aka Ms. Norbury), Taylor was just fulfilling her destiny.

Own it, T-Swizzle. It’s okay. Being associated with Rachel McAdams is the best thing you could ever do. If you still needed convincing, this one’s for you.

How do I even begin to explain Taylor Swift?

Taylor Swift is flawless.

I hear her hair is insured for $50,000.

I hear she does car commercials…

…in Japan.

Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.

One time she sat next to John Stamos Ashton Kutcher on a plane…

…and he told her she was pretty.

One time she punched me in the face.

It was awesome.